Being Brave While Being Scared

"Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared."

I heard this quote in a movie last week. This is very timely and appropriate for my life right now.

I have many moments over the past four months when I have been scared but I have had to push through it. I haven’t felt very brave. I have had to face everyday being scared. It hasn’t been an easy road.

We don’t always have a choice about being brave. We don’t normally choose to run into things that scare us. It is our tendency to avoid anything which causes us pain.

Being brave means that you face each moment. You fight the battles as they come. When your days and weeks are a roller coaster of emotions, you simply do your best to hang on and ride it out.

I am one that believes in God. My faith has been tested. I have been strong at times but most of the time I have barely had enough to force out a prayer. Tough times wear you down. You learn that you can’t depend on others to help you. Their priority is not what you are going through. You do it alone. You trust God that it will end well.

Sometimes you have no choice but to be brave. I’m not expecting any medals. I just want to get through this.

These times change you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes it wounds your spirit. This time has challenged my faith. I will never be the same after this.

I wake up every day scared in anticipation of what the day will bring. I hope for the good but brace myself for the worst. I try to listen to God’s voice but at times it has been drowned out by voices of fear. Maybe I’m not so brave. I’m no spiritual giant. I’m just Milton. A product of two generations of preachers. A pedigree which means nothing right now.

My life is consumed with test results and trust in medical science. My so-called bravery is in waiting and trusting the process. Being brave is not the absence of fear, but choosing to take action and move forward despite feeling afraid or uncomfortable.  It doesn't always mean doing some heroic feat but just getting up each day and showing up.  

When ALL You Can Do Is Pray

Many times when I have prayed for myself or others, I have caught myself saying “All I can do is pray”. In reality praying is the MOST we can do!

We must never underestimate the power of prayer. I’m not talking about the “thoughts and prayers” type of prayers, I mean when we truly pray.

The problem we have with prayer sometimes is that we think it is a means of getting what we want. Obviously we pray earnestly for our needs but ultimately the results depend on God. His will and His timing. We cannot manipulate God to get what we want.

I often feel like my prayers lack the power and effectiveness that others seem to experience. I never have these supernatural results. I struggle with doubt in how I am praying and searching for the words to use. We falsely assume there are some magical abracadabra words that will make things happen.

The Bible says that the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man gets it done. (James 5:16) I am good with the effectual and fervent part but I don't think I am righteous enough to feel confident enough to feel that I am availing much.

Regardless, I continue to pray. I have been around long enough to know that regardless of how I feel, I must not give up on prayer. We still ask, seek and knock on the door. If that’s ALL we can do then we should give it our ALL. It’s not the words that we use or don’t use but the condition of our spirit and our heart.

I have tried to have the mindset to pray until something changes. Just pray and leave the results to God. I don’t want to just pray a list but have a relationship with God so that I feel the prayer, not just speak it.

Prayer is vitally important. We must put forth our best effort. I may not do it right or like the religious people do but I just do it. It is ALL that I can do.

Thoughts about Overthinking

Hello, my name is Milton.

I am an overthinker.

If there were a support group for overthinkers, I would probably be in it.  I might be the leader of the group.

I tend to overthink. You just have no idea.

This is what causes me my most stress. The simple act of going somewhere immediately causes my mind to jump into action. I immediately think of the best route to get there, what the parking situation is and anything else that may or may not happen. While others can simply jump in the car and go, I cannot. I must think of EVERY scenario.  All of this happens without much of a thought. My brain automatically shifts to auto pilot to overthink it.

It’s a curse. I certainly need help. I truly can’t enjoy things without creating this mental work for myself.

I recently came across an Instagram post which obviously knows me well enough to pop into my reel. It was actually some good insight to those of us who belong to overthinkers anonymous.

• Overthinkers don’t just hear words - they analyze tone, timing and hidden meaning behind them.
• Their brain keeps replaying old situations, searching for mistakes that didn’t even matter.
• They often prepare for problems that may never happen because their mind is always expecting “what if”.
• Overthinkers usually look calm in public while fighting thousands of thoughts privately.
• The smallest change in someone’s behavior can make them question the entire relationship.
• Most overthinkers are caring people, but caring too much can become mentally exhausting.

There is definitely a lot going on in our minds. I know that a tone in someone’s voice can send me into overthinking mode instantly. It doesn’t take much since I have had years of experience.

Live in the moment.

That seems like a small statement but this is something we should do. Don’t think about it, just be in the moment. As much as we try, we will never be ready for every scenario. We can’t cover them all.

As difficult as it is, I am going to try to do better and not overthink things too much. Just let it be.

Overthinking often stems from trying to figure everything out on our own. Proverbs counsels to submit our thoughts to God and trust His direction.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The Apostle Paul also told us to take our thoughts captive to prevent any negative thoughts from causing us to spiral out of control.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." – 2 Corinthians 10:5

Easier said than done right?  All we can do is try to not overthink it.  It takes practice.