When It Happens To You

It’s different when it happens to you.

Being a believer is exciting and fun until something happens to you. Your faith is tested and suddenly the world isn’t filled with praise and worship choruses. All of the preaching, quoting Bible verses and claiming things in Jesus’ name doesn’t mean much when you are going through some of the hard things in life.

Life will throw you. You can’t always plan for it either. It will come at you whether you are ready for it or not.

I remember many years ago when I was stationed at Dyess Air Force Base near Abilene, Texas I was attending a small church near the base. Tragically one of the teens in the youth group was killed in a freak car accident. It was devastating. When I later went to the family house, I sat next to the mother and wanted to be a help. I made the mistake of saying “I know what you are going through” with which she came back with “You have NO idea what I’m going through!” and left the room.

I learned a value lesson. We don’t always know what someone is going through until we go through it ourselves. Words rarely do any good to ease the pain.

The super religious people will act like nothing bothers them. They have their hands in praying position and always looking to the sky while the rest of us mortals absorb the realities of living in a fallen and imperfect world.

Being a believer doesn’t mean we are immune to hurt and pain. We still shed tears when we are hurting and - yes - we also question God. He doesn’t always share with us what He is doing. He doesn’t have to. As for me, I like answers! I want to know why! God does what He does and never obligated to answer to me.

Where is God in this?

That’s a common thought. He allows things to happen and we just don’t understand why. It’s not so easy to have faith then. It is in these times when our faith is truly tested. Having faith and enduring pain doesn’t mean we will go through it with a smile nor doesn’t it mean we won’t go through it without being battered by it.

The only way to get through it is to go through it. There aren’t always shortcuts. We can’t avoid feeling pain. When we walk through the storms of life, we will feel it but we have to keep going.

If you know I am a believer and ask me “where is your God now?” I can only tell you that I don’t really know. I know He promised not to leave me or forsake me but I certainly can’t tell you how or why. You can’t have faith until it is tested.

Life happens to us all. Don’t look at me. I don’t have it all figured out. Just doing the best that I can and putting one foot ahead of the other.

Thoughts About Waiting

One of the hardest things to do in life is wait. 

As that famous philosopher Tom Petty used to sing, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

We don’t like to wait. We want it now!

Some of the difficult times of waiting is when we have medical issues and the doctor is running tests to determine what the problem is. We get anxious and obviously assuming the worst case scenario. Not knowing tests our strength. We want to know!

Unfortunately many times we simply have to wait. Waiting can be minutes, hours, days or even years. I want waiting to be the shortest time possible.

I think you would agree that it is hard to be strong when we are waiting. I know that I am not good at it.

Sometimes things just take time. We don’t want to hear that. We want answers.

During the times of waiting, we need to develop the right mindset. We have to ground ourselves in the present. Developing the right mindset will help reduce frustration over the uncontrollable delays we encounter in our lives.

Waiting happens. That’s just the reality of life. We have to get better at waiting and develop habits to help us endure the times of waiting. Some rely on their faith - like I do - but it may be different things for others. Whatever it is, strengthen your mind to get you through it.

Being There

What do you say to someone who is hurting?

Most of us hate to see the people we care about in pain. We want badly to say or do something that will take the hurt away. Many times there is simply nothing we can say but we can just be there.

Sometimes all we can do is sit with them.

Being there.

I read the story of Job this week and we know that everything he had was taken from him. The interesting thing to notice is how long his friends sat with Job in silence.

While Job’s friends are criticized for their later poor treatment of his troubles, at first they simply sat with him. They sat with him for seven days and seven nights without saying a word to him, because they saw how much he was suffering.

This shows us that when someone we love is hurting, it’s our presence that often matters most. Their example reminds us that even though we may not always know what to say, simply sitting with someone in their suffering may be the best thing we can do for them.

Silence makes us uncomfortable, so we may try to fill that void with words thinking there is some magical thing we can say to give comfort. But in times of great suffering, words alone are often inadequate to express the comfort or help that the hurting person truly needs.

I have been guilty of feeling compelled to say something. I think I have learned that people don’t need our words - they just need us. They need our shoulder, a hug or bring them a meal.

It’s difficult when our loved one is hurting but just simply be there. No Bible verse, no Christian cliche or comparing situations. Be the anchor that helps them get through the storm in their life.