Tuesday, December 9, 2025

Keeping the Pricklies In

Since moving to New York and making several trips into the city I am often reminding myself to keep the pricklies in.

What are the pricklies?

The pricklies are the sensitivities we have which cause us to easily be offended or irritated by the actions of others.

There are some days when it takes incredible restraint to keep them under control. I don’t like being bullied or pushed around. It is often extremely difficult to let offenses go unchecked.  I don’t want to walk around with a short fuse or an attitude that I will be easily offended. That’s not a good way to live.

In general, most people are not purposely out to hurt others. Many are just in their own world and totally oblivious to others around them. They are doing their own thing in their own way without regard to others.

If there is one trigger that will get me is when someone does something to my wife. Forget being a Christian in those moments, I will drop the gloves and go after it.

Several years ago, we were in a coffee shop, and my wife was trying to squeeze through to get to our table when a man refused to cooperate and she called him out. He stood up and touched her arm as he was confronting her about what she had said to him. I jumped between them and told him to back down. I wasn’t going to have any of it. I looked down at his hands, and they were shaking and he looked like he was getting ready to explode. I had to decide immediately whether or not to deescalate the situation. I talked him down calmly and he stormed out. We left as we were concerned for our safety and if he would return.

This incident is one I have never forgotten and constantly remind myself that I need to not be triggered by the actions of others and handle things better.

Have I don’t better since then? Better but not perfect. I still crack sometimes.

Our pricklies have to be controlled or they will ultimately get us into trouble. We can’t allow ourselves to be easily offended.

It’s hard. Christian or not, it is a challenge.

Even now there is someone who is hurting my wife with their passive aggressive social media posts and I have had enough of it so I’m doing what I can to control that trigger inside of me. My first reaction is to lash out but doing so would create a lot of collateral damage which would affect others. So, I have to talk myself down and keep my peace.  Yeah, life isn’t always easy, and our emotions can be challenging to harness sometimes.

So how can we keep the pricklies in?

First, we have to get in the mindset to look for reasons to do good to others even if it doesn't happen in return.  Getting in the right mindset is the key.

Also, we must learn from the lessons when we didn’t keep them in and how poorly you handled it.  We should mentally practice how to respond appropriately.

We can also choose to avoid the situation if possible. If it is a person, don’t engage. Block their social media posts.  Eliminate the triggers.

Make sure you eat properly.  We can be more easily triggered when we become "hangry".

When faced with a prickly situation, pause. Take a breath and pause before reacting.

Finally, try not to take it personally. Recognize others' rudeness often reflects their own issues, not yours.

Okay, now you know what happens after I have written this...I must practice what I have written and the advice I have given you (and me) to do.  I will let you know how it goes.  The main thing is to remember that we already live in an angry world and a place where people have a short fuse.  Even if we fail at it a time or two, we must be the peacekeepers.