I believe in miracles. I believe in praying for miracles. Many people don't.
I'm in a place right now that I am waiting for the miracle. It's a whole lot easier to believe in miracles when you don't need one.
I have heard the sermons about healing, stories of miracles and claims people make about God answering prayers. Believing is hard especially when you are in the place where you can't see it. I don't see it. Honestly my belief is being put to the test. Will my God deliver? Am I believing foolishly in a miracle?
I have come to understand that I have absolutely no control over this. I can't make God do a darn thing. I can't make any deals or manipulate Him into answering my prayers in the way I want them to be answered.
Do I even know HOW to pray? I will be honest and say I have had that question in my head. All of my years in church and believing, am I even praying right?
In addition to that...I also ask the question: Who am I? I am a nobody in this world of billions of people. Why would God hear my prayers? I'm not anybody special. I'm not a preacher or any spiritual leader in anything.
I'm just floundering a bit right now. I'm worried the miracle won't come. It's hard to stay positive when others around you don't believe.
God can do whatever He wants to do however He wants to do it. So this is where we are. What does God what to do here? I can only do what I can do and just leave the rest up to God.
I find myself praying and pleading with God but does it matter? Has the ending already been decided whether I pray or not. It is a difficult place when you are standing in the fiery furnace of your life.
As painful as it is for me, I have to release the need for control. I have to acknowledge my human limitations and knowing that I can't script the outcome. It is completely normal to struggle with God's will when it conflicts with your own hopes.
When we are in the place where we need a miracle, we have to try to find that resolve that God knows what He is doing even if we don't agree. It's not an easy place to be in but we can only do what we can do and leave the results to Him.
