Dealing with Delays and Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever been delayed before?

I’m sure it has happened to all of us in some way. Maybe it was a flight or something you were waiting to happen. Most of us don’t like delays. I know I don't. I like things to go as planned. Delays are often unexpected and unplanned.

There are times that God answers our prayers with a delay. It isn’t a yes or no answer but just a delay.

The problem we have with this is that He doesn’t tell us that it is a delay. It sure would be nice if He would. I know it would calm me down.

Too many times I make the mistake of assuming an unanswered prayer as being a “no” when it is really more of a delay.

With God it is about timing. Sure, He can do whatever He wants whenever He wants to do it but He’s not going to force us to do anything we don’t want to do. In our lives, His will works through people and circumstances.

When I was unexpectedly released from my previous job, I reached out to a contact in another company. I was sure it was going to work out and it seemed like the situation was going to be resolved but they kept delaying things. I got really frustrated and panicked a bit over it. Right before they decided to take action, another job recruiter called me and I eventually ended up being hired by another company and for a much higher salary than I had expected.

The delay was God’s timing to line up the situation for me.

This wasn't the first time that God’s delay ended up being an answered prayer for me.

It usually isn’t until after you’ve been through something like this that you can look back on it and see that it was a divine delay.

God’s timing is very important and we must have a strong faith and extreme patience to hold on during the delays. It’s not always easy but it is amazing when you have remained faith and rewarded.

I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten impatient and tried to force things to work in my own way. The result has been that I messed things up and it either took way longer or I missed out completely. We can definitely mess up God’s plan to answer our prayers. Although He can fix our mess, it would be better if we do a better job to let Him do it.

I still remember many years ago when I was trying to get into my current career field, I interviewed but one of the supervisors told me point blank that I wasn’t going to get the job. I was crushed. I went home totally devastated. However, when I went into the office the next day our agency had a hiring freeze and I eventually got the position months later when the freeze was lifted.

These and other examples are not mere coincidences, it is God working in my life. I am nobody special. I’m not a preacher or claim to have any special insight to God. I just pray and trust Him to work things out. He always works it out. Sometimes it may not seem like He does but it takes faith whether we ever see the results or not.

Delays aren't fun but sometimes necessary for God to put things into place to get us to where we need to be.

The Navigator

It happened again. 

I never plan to do it.

Somehow In most any group situation, I end up being the one with the map, schedules, the folder and herding the group I am a part of.

I don’t know why I end up in this role. Some may say that I do it because I don’t trust anyone else to do it. They could be right.

Our went to a botanical garden recently, paid the admission and entered the gardens and there I was with the map and directing us which path to take. When I realized it I nudged my wife and we both laughed. Nobody asked me to do it. I just fell into it.

I am cursed.

Control freak? Perhaps.

I asked AI about this and the response was:

The person in a group who always has the map can be called a navigator. This term reflect the role's primary function of orienting the group and charting its course.

So I am the navigator of the group and will tell you where to go.

I remember in high school when I went with a group of friends to an amusement park that I was the one who had the park map and the only one in the group wearing a watch. I never realized that I was always this person.  Even on a family trip you will find me near the back of the group making sure everyone is herded in the right direction.  I'm not exactly sure why I am like this.

How is it that we seemingly fall into roles like this. Is it in our DNA?  Sometimes we just do things because they are just automatic to us. I wish I could just go somewhere and wonder aboit without a thought of direction but I can’t seem to help myself.

I guess we should embrace the roles we automatically fall into. There is obviously a reason we fall into these roles.

I'm not sure that I truly embrace my navigator role but it seems to be expected of me now and I hate to let people down.  There are some pros and cons about being the navigator.

Pros:

• You have a strong sense of direction.  You are reliable and able to guide people toward a desire destination.
• You have good planning and problem-solving skills.  Your friends and family trust your ability to organize the logistics.
• You have good intuition.  You often see potential challenges before they happen and can plan to avoid them.

Cons;

• You can feel the burden of the responsibility.  You feel solely responsible for the group's enjoyment.
• You are constantly expected to make decisions.
• You feel the burden that if you don't do it that no one will.
• It feels more like work and robs your own enjoyment of the event or activity.

Even writing a blog about this role I play still doesn't resolve it for me.  I know I will just automatically fall right back into navigating the next time.  I've done it so much that I wouldn't know how else to be so I must accept that's who I am.

R U Mad @ Me?

Are you mad at someone right now?

Do they know you are mad at them?

I know the feeling. I have been there and faced that dilemma when you are upset at someone but you weigh the decision whether to tell them or not. Telling them might blow things up worse than just allowing time for you to get over it.

It is a slippery slope. Keeping it to yourself opens a seriously risk of a permanent grudge to form against that person.

So do you tell or not tell or do you make some slight passive aggressive suggestions? Drop little hints or posts on social media. (Or write a blog about it).

I hate to admit it but I am usually the one who doesn’t tell. At times I can be a bit too sensitive and feel that I need to allow myself to just get over it than to make things worse with a confession to the offending party.

Basically I have to “eat it” and let it go. So how does that work for me? It leaves a bitter taste.

So we are left to making the difficult choice to confront the offender or get over it. Many times when we choose to confront the offender they get mad at us for being mad (I never understand this) or downplay our feelings. Some even get defensive. Rarely have I found that the other person owns up to what they have done and most of the time the offender is genuinely oblivious to the offense.

If we make the choice not to confront them, we have to find a way to get over it. In my older years I have realized how important it is to forgive quickly. I have gotten better at that part but still have difficulty with the forgetting part.  Once we forgive, we have to put distance from the offense so we can make it easier to forget it.

It is a dilemma indeed. We feel what we feel but we also must see the importance of keeping the peace. When you love people you give them the benefit of the doubt, you don’t keep score of offenses.

Many years ago I held something so long that it eventually exploded and I essentially dropped a nuclear bomb on a situation and quickly regretted it and lost a friendship in the process. Obviously I let something go on way too long.

If there is a lesson here, it is how timing is so important. Forgive quickly or confront quickly. The longer you hold the offense the more that negativity builds and grows until it becomes a grudge that takes anchor into your emotions.

I have dealt with this in my life.  Sadly I have experienced this with my own mother. She was good at holding grudges - even against me. When I would confront her about it, I would ask her why she never would give me the benefit of the doubt that I wouldn’t do something intentionally to hurt her. She let something build and add her own assumptions to it.  If we don't resolve issues within ourselves or with the offending party, we will add more "evidence" - real or imagined - against that person.

That’s what we do if we let something continue without dealing with it. Doing nothing resolves nothing.

Each situation is different and we have to carefully weigh the options of either getting over it or confronting the offender.  If possible, we should try to live a peace with everyone which means we try to navigate through how to do that.  If we don't, it will take away our own peace.