When Your Must Should Be Most

The fragile ego of a writer.

I know it well.

A critique over one typo can throw a writer off and make them even question why they bother to write in the first place.

Yesterday it got me.

An unsolicited editor found an error in one of my blogs. They felt compelled to inform me of it.

One word with one wrong letter.

I find it irritating that I can write hundreds of articles without any comments whatsoever and then one person picks out one single typo.

“Must” should have been “most”.

OMGosh that alters the entire writing universe!

Well, for some reason I can’t stop writing but I can limit my audience. I have evolved as a writer over the years. I don't have a need to impress anyone. I write for me. In the beginning my motives were different. I wanted approval, attention and popularity. I don't need affirmation from anyone to write. I can write in this blog or I can write where there is no audience like in one of my many journals.

I'm not going to let one typo stop me but it does alter my course a bit. It forces me to re-evaluate why and how I write.

I have written - and self-published - a few books hoping secretly for some sort of success but never achieved what I expected. Each success, each failure and each critique forces a writer to re-examine why they do what they do. I once wrote for others but now I write for me. In the past I was even guilty of "targeting" my writing toward someone but have done a better job of stepping back.

One typo.

Does that change me now?

I guess we will see. Stay tuned.

Post-COVID Paranoia

I am no longer testing positive for COVID but I am still recovering both physically and mentally from having it. I have this nasty, annoying cough. I sound sick.

It has been two weeks since I was ambushed with a nasty fever and every part of my body being in pain.

I hate being sick. I hate COVID and if you've had it, you understand. If you haven't then you probably think it's nothing or perhaps you are one of those who still think it was a hoax. Yes, a "hoax" on the ENTIRE world. I don’t want to hear any politics about it. It means nothing when you are sick.

Aside from the annoying cough and fatigue, I now worry about being around too many people. Everyone is the enemy now. I cringe being on an elevator right now. I just assume they all have nasty germs and could give it to me again. Honestly people have some nasty habits out in the world. I walk down the sidewalk and I notice people coughing, hacking and spitting. Gross! I'm a little freaked out right now.

I wish we could see COVID. It should either been a green mist or dark smoke.

I have tried to not drive myself crazy figuring out how I got COVID. I just don’t want to get it again. I can’t imagine how much worse it could have been had I not been vaccinated. I’m not going to debate that issue either.

And wearing the mask....I’m wearing a mask more now and I really hate wearing it. I would rather have a shield around me.

I will get over this eventually. Eventually I will let my guard down once again. I will stop wearing my mask and not use hand sanitizer. Only to make myself a target COVID again.

I have heard people downplay COVID by saying “it’s just like the flu”. Well I don’t like getting the flu either.

I will eventually get over this but I’m not happy with this right now. I’m still angry that COVID wasn’t handled right in 2020.

So here I sit coughing between paragraphs and hoping this round with COVID will go away. The experts say I still have a few more weeks to deal with this coughing.

Government Shutdown Survivor

As our federal government enters another shutdown, I went through seven government shutdowns in my 20+ years as a federal employee.  I can tell you that going through these shutdowns caused by our politicians is a stressful experience.  I can assure you that no federal employee is happy about this regardless of their political party.  

Unfortunately federal employees are the pawns in a political game that they have absolutely no control over.  

Today federal employees will either be furloughed - essentially laid off until the shutdown is over - or they will be deemed "essential" and will be required to work without getting a paycheck.  I have been both during my shutdown experiences. 

Contrary to what must of the general public believe, there is never a guarantee that federal employees will be paid back after the shutdown.  This is a very stressful situation when you don't receive your paycheck.  Your bills still have to be paid and I can assure you that most are not willing to work with you.  I was fortunate to always receive my pay back after the shutdown was resolved but during the shutdown I still had to pay the mortgage, car payment and buy groceries.  During the longest shutdown I went through, I had to get a loan to cover my bills until the shutdown was over.

I know that when I worked for the Department of Justice in Macon, Georgia that the local federal credit union didn't understand that there were other federal employees which were not employed with Robins Air Force Base which was the largest federal employer in that area.  When I attempted to secure some financial aid during various shutdowns, they were hesitant to do so simply because I wasn't employed at the base.  

Government shutdown is complete chaos and honestly the general public doesn't care and has absolutely no compassion for federal workers who are going through this process.

The most annoying thing about a government shutdown is that the people causing the shutdown aren't working without their paychecks.  I can tell you from personal experience that most federal employees do not care about politics, they just want to work and do their jobs.