That's Just How They Are

Difficult people.

You've been around them, worked with them or probably even related to them.

They get a free pass for being snappy, grumpy or just mean.  You complain about them and you are told "that's just how they are."

Why do these people get a free pass?

Growing up I used to have issues with my dad and my mom would always say "well, son, that's just the way he is."

I never liked that excuse.  If someone is an ass then they need to be corrected but most of the time people don't because they "don't want to poke the bear".  (I don't like that term either)

So we just let the bear do what the bear wants to do.

The thing that always infuriates me is that if I have a bad day or a rare moment and act the wrong way I am the one called out about it.  I don't get that "well that's how he is" pass.   It is definitely a double-standard.

I can't tell you the many people I worked with that got a free pass because of their personality.  I would often work for one attorney who everyone avoided if possible because he was difficult to deal with yet when anyone would fuss about him the supervisor would say - "well, that's (attorney's name) and you know how he is." Then once I am difficult and I get reprimanded by my supervisor.  

One thing I have learned in my experience with these people is that it is a waste of time to try to win them over.  You can't force them to change.  They have been allowed to be their annoying personality for so long that it would take a Holy Ghost experience to change them.  The only way we can be around these people who get a free pass is just to be who we are.  Don't let their crappy personality poison ours.

No doubt we will always have difficult people to deal with.  We aren't perfect either and I really hope that I'm not that difficult person to someone else.  It would crush me to know that my actions are being excused away because that's how I am.  

Liking NYC Better

I have moved around many times during my life.

When we moved to New York in April I hated it. It was a tough adjustment for me.

Now I like it much better and I think that it was the best move we have ever made.

It still surprises me that I like it here. Until moving here, I had lived my whole life in the South.

Living here is still not without its challenges but I have adjusted.

Following the election last November we decided it was best for us to move and when other situations came together, we decided to make the move. Even though I have moved around a lot, I do not like the moving process at all. However, we got to work and made it happen.

Sadly, there are some that didn’t understand why we moved and not happy with our decision. I am sorry about this reaction to our move. This was something we had to do. It is unfair to expect someone to stay in a place where they aren’t happy. We are happy here.

Although we are happy here, we are still not sure if we will stay here either. There are several factors which might determine another move. The main factor is finances and whether or not we can afford to stay where we are. It is very expensive to live here. So we could end up pissing off more people should we decide to move again. I don't know. We will see how this plays out.

For now, we will live in the present. We love the adventures we have here. We have easy access to the New York Subway and Long Island Railroad. We never had these adventures before. We felt stuck while watching others travel the world and living through their social media posts. Now we get to do it after not being able to do it for many years with our moves being dictated by my job.

Right now as I type this blog I could look to my right and see the LIRR train roll by with the skyline of Manhattan in the background. How cool is that? Yep, I'm liking it better now.

When Your Must Should Be Most

The fragile ego of a writer.

I know it well.

A critique over one typo can throw a writer off and make them even question why they bother to write in the first place.

Yesterday it got me.

An unsolicited editor found an error in one of my blogs. They felt compelled to inform me of it.

One word with one wrong letter.

I find it irritating that I can write hundreds of articles without any comments whatsoever and then one person picks out one single typo.

“Must” should have been “most”.

OMGosh that alters the entire writing universe!

Well, for some reason I can’t stop writing but I can limit my audience. I have evolved as a writer over the years. I don't have a need to impress anyone. I write for me. In the beginning my motives were different. I wanted approval, attention and popularity. I don't need affirmation from anyone to write. I can write in this blog or I can write where there is no audience like in one of my many journals.

I'm not going to let one typo stop me but it does alter my course a bit. It forces me to re-evaluate why and how I write.

I have written - and self-published - a few books hoping secretly for some sort of success but never achieved what I expected. Each success, each failure and each critique forces a writer to re-examine why they do what they do. I once wrote for others but now I write for me. In the past I was even guilty of "targeting" my writing toward someone but have done a better job of stepping back.

One typo.

Does that change me now?

I guess we will see. Stay tuned.