I am the person that NEEDS a plan. I am ALWAYS planning ahead.
If someone mentions going somewhere, I’m already thinking about the route to take, what time we need to leave and parking situation at the destination.
It’s a curse.
At times it overwhelms me.
I am the one with the folder and the spreadsheet. My family even pokes fun at me and my folder.
Yes, I’m that person.
Even back in high school, I remember going to an amusement park and I was the one who had the watch and the park map. My classmates wanted me around because they knew I would be the one who would know when and where we needed to be.They were having fun and I was thinking ahead to where we needed to be next.
I often wonder what it would be like to have a day when I leave the planning to someone else so I could enjoy myself. It’s a nice thought if I could let go. Somehow I end up taking it over.
I don’t know why I am like this. Maybe it was my strict upbringing, eight years in the military or 30 years in the legal system. I am comfortable with structure. I rarely know how to function without a plan.
There is nothing wrong with being a planner but I probably take it to the extreme. I can’t help it. That’s who I am.
Yet another joy of being me.
It’s tiring constantly being the one in charge, the one everyone relies on, the one who always has to have everything under control. It’s the pressure to make sure everyone is happy, to ensure that every detail is perfect, and to avoid any potential disasters. We often feel like we have to be “on” all the time. We can’t afford to relax, to let go, or to admit that we’re feeling overwhelmed.
We’re afraid that if we don’t take charge, things will fall apart.
I wish I could give my mind a break.
Even now I am thinking about what I am going to have for breakfast in the morning.
