I think we all do to a certain extent and depending on who is around us.
The concern about what others think of us can go to the extreme of worrying too much or not caring at all. There needs to be a healthy balance.
I speak from life experience.
For the first 18 years of my life, I grew up as a preacher’s kid. There were always people judging me in some way or having their conclusions about me when many times they didn’t even know me.
I was obsessed over what people thought of me and it carried over into much of my early adult life.
There was a time in my life I endured a difficult person who always had her opinions and assumptions about me. It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, she always had a critical opinion about me. I could never measure up until one day I had a revelation. I realized that it didn’t matter what her opinion of me was. Her opinion didn’t mean she was right.
From that day forward I was a different person.
I became a person who was less worried about what people thought. I didn’t (and never) go to the extreme of never worrying about hurting people’s feelings but I also had to realize that my feelings were important too.
I have made many decisions over the past several years for my own happiness. I’m sure others have been hurt or even disappointed in me but that is on them. I can’t be responsible for other’s expectations of me. I lived that life too many years and wasted opportunities to be happy earlier in my life. Whatever people think of me is between them and whatever God they serve.
When people want to hear yes, and you tell them no, they never like it. But those who are truly your friends will give you the freedom to make your own decisions. People who genuinely care about you and not what you can do for them will be happy for you.
Unfortunately, I have had family members in my life who were quick to judge and turn on me. One mistake would wipe out many times of good. They would be quick to cut me off without giving me the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I have had to endure the bad feelings to preserve boundaries in my life. You will realize that in life hurting people will hurt others. We have to expect that and set our boundaries to manage those people who are in our lives.
Am I bitter? No. Just learned a valuable and painful lesson from it. People still have their assumptions about me. That’s fine. I can’t do anything about that. I can only take one step at a time. Life is like that. You do the best you can.
The reality is that we can’t possibly please everyone. I have tried and I can tell you that you will live a frustrated life if you try.
We all have our own journey, and we should not live our lives based on our expectations of others.
