I was in that place once and it took all I could to make the decision to talk to someone about it. When I made the attempt to open up, I noticed the person looking at his watch repeatedly. It was clear to me that he had some place to go. I let him go. I never approached him again.
This came at a pivotal time in my life. I made decisions and I pressed on.
I often look back on that moment in that parking lot and wonder if I am ever too busy for someone who needs to talk. Sometimes people simply need to vent. They don’t need judgment. If someone thinks enough of us to talk to about something important, we should feel honored and take it seriously.
We should make time to listen to someone and value their feelings. We should never belittle them or make them feel as if our time is too valuable to listen. Trust is a precious gift. When someone confides in you, it is a sign of respect. Your friend is saying "I believe you are trust worthy enough to take care of my inner most feelings". Therefore do everything possible not to damage that trust. Do everything possible to help them keep feeling safe with you.
I have been fortunate to have had people confide in me. I have tried to give advice or support. I hope that I have made myself available enough for someone needing to talk.
There are times in all of our lives that we need someone to talk to.
Here are some important tips for when someone wants to talk to you:
Make time. Even if you can’t do it then, make a solid commitment for the earliest time to do it.
Listen carefully without judgment. Be sure you listen and not just waiting for them to finish so you can talk.
Ask questions. Seek to obtain information to help you better understand what the person is feeling.
Stay calm. You may or may not like what you hear but be patient and try to empathize.
Explore solutions together. Maybe you have find a similar situation in your experience to relate to what they are going through.
Seek professional help if necessary. We don't always have the answers someone needs. Sometimes the issues are very serious where a trained professional is needed.
Maintain confidentiality. Don’t be a gossip. If someone tells you something in confidence, keep it to yourself.
I don’t think I will ever forget that time in that parking lot where my issue was blown off. I hope I never make any go through that same feeling.
The month of September is suicide prevention month. There are people around us who are hurting. People matter. Our time with them is important and we should value their feelings. Make the time to listen.
