I just finished a brutal week of work. One day I put in 15 hours. I’m not asking for sympathy just stating my facts.
I have worked a job since I graduated from high school and went into the United States Air Force. I served eight years in active duty then worked with the Department of Justice for 30 years.
I retired from government a few years ago. So no more working? Retirement? That’s funny. No way I could live off of the retirement. It is just enough to pay most of our rent each month.
So I am still working.
True retirement is just a fantasy. I can’t imagine being able to afford to do it. Ever. At this point I totally expect to work until my very last day.
Maybe I can win the lottery.
I work harder now than I ever did before and it sucks the energy out of me. Every day I go down the work rabbit hole. I rarely come up for air and by the end of the day, I am completely mentally and physically wiped out.
There was once a time I could take some healthy breaks and even step away from my desk and take a short walk around my block but after some downsizing, I have absolutely no time during the day to take care of my wellness health.
I am not the all star employee or even the smartest one but I strive to be dependable and dedicated to the work. There was a time early in my career that I was a star and at the top but now I am content with being a good employee. I have been at the top of my career. I don’t need that now.
So I continue to work with no expectation of ever having a true retirement.
How have I function (and continue to function) like this? I still enjoy the accomplishments in a job well done, being shown appreciation and compensated for it. I also enjoy when I have time off and do my best to have a work-life balance although some times it gets a bit out of balance toward the work side.
Too many people work for retirement instead of living in the present. I once had a co-worker who always talked about his retirement and what he was going to do and how happy he was going to be to get out of the workplace. A few weeks after he retired he had a massive heart attack and died as he was getting ready to attend our office Christmas party.
Although I will probably always work, I want to live life and not defer it to some retirement fantasy.
Many of us go through our careers yearning for the day that we can finally retire. “I can’t wait to retire so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want,” or “I can’t wait for retirement so I can just relax and do the things that I enjoy” are common things that we say.
My life may be work but my life can be more than just work and more than living a retirement goal. I have to remind myself that even if I get tired of work, I am blessed to have a job and able to afford my life. I don’t want to struggle to live. I want my family to enjoy the benefits of me working.
So when work beats me up and I get a little discouraged about it, I just need to take time to recharge and regroup.
I’m still going to play the lottery.
