I know some might frown on that idiotism but usually the people closest to you are the ones who hurt you the most.
Let me speak to the family part of this.
Family can drive you crazy if you let them. If you have family, you are certainly familiar with dysfunction and drama.
Why do some family members want to have drama?
I can tell you that I am at the age now that I don’t do drama. I will cut you out of my life. I don’t have time for it. Relatives will get mad at us for the most ridiculous reasons. I’ve had some who have gotten mad that I moved to another location. What? I can’t be in charge of my own life? I need to check with others and get their approvals first before deciding what *I* want to do?
That is pathetic.
I am not proud of the fact that I have had to cut family members out of my life to eliminate the unnecessary stress and drama they create. I have had some who would get cross with me when I didn’t do what they expected yet they ignored all the good things I had done for them. One wrong move cancels out the good things. It is very frustrating when family members refuse to give you the benefit of the doubt. They will immediately make the wrong assumptions and that your intent was to hurt them.
It is impossible to manage those expectations of certain family members. I’m just not sure what their end game could be.
In order to be happy, you must set boundaries. Your happiness can’t be dependent upon keeping the impossible expectations of other family members happy. Some go out of their way to keep some family members happy. I had a difficult family member once who made the comment that she had to worry about keeping everyone happy when the reality was that SHE was the one everyone was trying to keep happy.
Yes, it can give you a headache.
People will use the reasoning that “we’re all family” to justify keeping these family members in your life. They may be family, but you don’t have to accept their behavior or treatment of you. Don’t put up with the B.S. Put your happiness first.
Of course, not all family members are looking to stir up drama. Some actually genuinely care about you and your happiness. Hold onto those because that’s what family is supposed to be about.
Ultimately, we have to manage this journey of life the best that we can. None of us are perfect. We don’t have to keep unhealthy relationships in our lives or be responsible for the happiness of others. It would be nice to have harmony and get along with everyone but that’s just not the reality.
Over time, people’s behaviors can change so cutting someone off doesn’t have to be permanent. If you see evidence that your family member is truly willing to make amends, there may be a chance of reconciling that relationship but don’t rush to reconciliation. You should realize that the process may take time and some solid steps for improvement. With that in mind, you might be able to repair that broken bond and move forward with a better relationship.
