I am an introvert. I have been all of my life. I learned to be quiet and observe others before opening myself up. Once I open up, people see a different side of me.
I always lived in fear of people making fun of me. Unfortunately it happened a lot.
I’m not always good at initiating a conversation. I have found myself with people where I had to do it. It takes a lot out of me and honestly sometimes I don’t want to make the effort so I will retreat into my quiet space. So many times people have made the assumption that when I am quiet that I am mad at them. Quiet shouldn’t always be assumed to be negative. My quiet times are often times of restoring and recharging myself.
Many times people misunderstand introverts and our behaviors. It takes a lot for us to open up and feel comfortable with others. If not, we fade into the background. I am usually okay with that. It helps me to stand back and observe while picking my moments to join in.
I have learned to accept how I am. I wasted too much of my life trying to fit in but I have learned to accept myself now. I’m too old to change now. Having fought the battle with low self-esteem most of my life I can give you some very helpful advice - don’t fight that battle. Accept yourself for who you are. You will never be happy until you can accept who you are. We all have our good, bad and quirky ways. We have to accept it. We can change the things we can change and accept what has formed us.
Someone said that “when you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.”
A pivotal moment came in my life years ago when I heard a quote from a movie which asked the main character - “Are you ready to be who you are?” We don’t have to put pressure on ourselves to be the person everyone else expects us to be. I don’t always have to make the effort to initiate a conversation and I can be okay with that. Whatever assumptions others make about that is on them. I can explain it if asked but I can’t control what they assume. I am allowed to either step forward and make the effort or I can fade back into oblivion and allow myself to do that.
