Putting Christ Back in Christian

During the holiday season I always hear the line that we need to put Christ back into Christmas. Certainly we need to remember and acknowledge Christ during the holiday season; however, we live in a world today where the influence of the Christian label has been weakened.

Why is that?

I viewed a clip from the son of a televangelist who said bluntly, "You can't be a Democrat and be a Christian, let me tell you why..."

This is the problem today. Christians have been hijacked by politics. It has gotten quite ugly and skewed. Being a Christian has nothing to do with being a Democrat or a Republican.

Sadly, I see it now when the word "Christian" is mentioned, people roll their eyes and are immediately skeptical.

So, let's get back to the basics here. What is the definition of Christian?

A Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ, believing He is the Son of God and the Messiah, centered on His life, teachings, crucifixion and resurrection, with main teachings centered on love for God and neighbor, repentance from sin and a commitment to spiritual transformation through faith in Christ.

The term "Christian" was first used in the city of Antioch in the first century around 40 A.D. as recorded in the Book of Acts (Acts 11:26) where disciples of Jesus were first called by this name by non-Jewish inhabitants to identify them as followers of Christ.

So why has Christian become a public relations problem?

The main thing Christians are doing wrong is they are trying to use Christian to create earthly kingdoms in the forms of churches and political agendas. We are still trying to legislate Christianity into our country and the world. Let me tell you that Christianity is never going to be in charge of this world until the return of Christ.  We have lost sight of the main thing by promoting our own agendas.

It is sad to see how the reputation of Christian has been tarnished.  Christianity has been weaponized for hate, division and judgment.  Unfortunately, I don't see it ever changing back.  I think we are too far gone down the road where Satan has rendered Christians powerless and makes the work of people who are true examples of Christians much more difficult.

I get it.  I grew up in the church and Christianity.  I have seen the good, bad and ugly about it, yet I still remain.  Am I perfect?  No.  Do I try to force my beliefs on others?  Never.  I never quote scriptures at people, and I refrain from judging on issues that I don't agree with.  I have had every reason to walk away.  Yes, I am a Christian because I believe in Jesus Christ.  

My Christian experience has evolved over the years of my life.  It went from a Church-centered relationship where the church told me what to do to a personal relationship with Christ.  Some of my earlier writings and posts were judgmental and extreme but now I have come to know to focus on my own relationship with God.  

We need to be more authentic and transparent to others.  We need to focus on genuine connections with others and service to people as individuals not just as potential converts.  We should emphasize on love, service and community rather than trying to appear better than others.  

When I say "I am a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin"

I'm whispering "I was lost - now I'm found and forgiven

When I say "I am a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say "I am a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong; I am professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

Keeping the Pricklies In

Since moving to New York and making several trips into the city I am often reminding myself to keep the pricklies in.

What are the pricklies?

The pricklies are the sensitivities we have which cause us to easily be offended or irritated by the actions of others.

There are some days when it takes incredible restraint to keep them under control. I don’t like being bullied or pushed around. It is often extremely difficult to let offenses go unchecked.  I don’t want to walk around with a short fuse or an attitude that I will be easily offended. That’s not a good way to live.

In general, most people are not purposely out to hurt others. Many are just in their own world and totally oblivious to others around them. They are doing their own thing in their own way without regard to others.

If there is one trigger that will get me is when someone does something to my wife. Forget being a Christian in those moments, I will drop the gloves and go after it.

Several years ago, we were in a coffee shop, and my wife was trying to squeeze through to get to our table when a man refused to cooperate and she called him out. He stood up and touched her arm as he was confronting her about what she had said to him. I jumped between them and told him to back down. I wasn’t going to have any of it. I looked down at his hands, and they were shaking and he looked like he was getting ready to explode. I had to decide immediately whether or not to deescalate the situation. I talked him down calmly and he stormed out. We left as we were concerned for our safety and if he would return.

This incident is one I have never forgotten and constantly remind myself that I need to not be triggered by the actions of others and handle things better.

Have I don’t better since then? Better but not perfect. I still crack sometimes.

Our pricklies have to be controlled or they will ultimately get us into trouble. We can’t allow ourselves to be easily offended.

It’s hard. Christian or not, it is a challenge.

Even now there is someone who is hurting my wife with their passive aggressive social media posts and I have had enough of it so I’m doing what I can to control that trigger inside of me. My first reaction is to lash out but doing so would create a lot of collateral damage which would affect others. So, I have to talk myself down and keep my peace.  Yeah, life isn’t always easy, and our emotions can be challenging to harness sometimes.

So how can we keep the pricklies in?

First, we have to get in the mindset to look for reasons to do good to others even if it doesn't happen in return.  Getting in the right mindset is the key.

Also, we must learn from the lessons when we didn’t keep them in and how poorly you handled it.  We should mentally practice how to respond appropriately.

We can also choose to avoid the situation if possible. If it is a person, don’t engage. Block their social media posts.  Eliminate the triggers.

Make sure you eat properly.  We can be more easily triggered when we become "hangry".

When faced with a prickly situation, pause. Take a breath and pause before reacting.

Finally, try not to take it personally. Recognize others' rudeness often reflects their own issues, not yours.

Okay, now you know what happens after I have written this...I must practice what I have written and the advice I have given you (and me) to do.  I will let you know how it goes.  The main thing is to remember that we already live in an angry world and a place where people have a short fuse.  Even if we fail at it a time or two, we must be the peacekeepers.  

Eating It to Keep the Peace

Like me, I'm sure that you have known people who get away with just telling it like it is without any consequences. They have not problem speaking their minds.

I have never been that person. I am usually the one who has to eat it. The one who takes it and tries to keep the peace.

I haven’t always liked it. Why do some get to speak their minds when the same allowances are not made for me?

It is annoying when someone hurts you and you make it known and the offending party gets mad at you for being hurt.  What is that??

I am constantly reminded of the Bible verse which tells us that “if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18)

You know, sometimes I which there were always a Bible verse for some things and this is one of them. It ain’t easy. So many times I want to hold others accountable on how they treat me.

A famous line from a movie said something about using a fork and knife while “eating it” and smile while doing it.  It may not be the easiest thing in the world to do, especially when you grew up with a low self-esteem and let people bully you but it is upon us to be the peacemakers.

As much as it hurts to do sometimes, it is better to make the effort in keeping the peace unless there is an opportunity for a reasonable confrontation.

I’m no expert. I’m still learning this one and I get classes on it often.

Most recently I was exiting the subway and a lady passing me bumped into me and I continued on. She stopped to fuss me out for not saying excuse me when SHE was the one who ran into me. I gave it back to her instead of making peace about it. So, yes, I still have repeated lessons on this one.

We live in a hair-trigger world where people are ready to be angry about something. We need to do a better job at being the peacekeepers.

75 Years of Unshackled

When I was a teen, I would go to sleep listening to the radio. One night while scanning the channels I came across a radio show called "Unshackled", and I have listened to it regularly since then.  The stories depicted have been a source of inspiration over the years.

Unshackled! is a radio drama series produced by Pacific Garden Mission, in Chicago, Illinois, that first aired on September 23, 1950. It is one of the longest-running radio dramas in history and one of a very few still in production in the United States. They produce Christian dramas of true stories of individuals who have faced desperate situations and how they found a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Unshackled is now celebrating their 75th anniversary on over 3,000 radio stations, six continents and fifteen languages.  It is available on YouTube, Smart TV channels and various radio stations.

The UNSHACKLED radio program began under the leadership of Pacific Garden Mission’s Superintendent Harry Saulnier. Harry yearned to reach the masses for Christ and earnestly prayed about the possibility of a radio program.

For a short time in 1945, Harry had a 15-minute program called “Doorway to Heaven” on station WAIT. On this program, Harry often related the true stories of individuals who had been saved at Pacific Garden Mission. This opportunity fueled Harry’s desire to continue sharing testimonies of changed lives using the popular radio drama format of the day.

Thus, on September 23rd, 1950, the first UNSHACKLED recording session was scheduled. The script was written by John Gillies, who worked at WMBI in Chicago. Clear channel radio giant WGN agreed to air the program. This first program was about the famous Billy Sunday — Chicago baseball player turned evangelist.

The show is produced from the Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago, Illinois.  Pacific Garden Mission is a homeless shelter which was founded in 1877 and is the largest homeless shelter in Chicago and the oldest continuously operating rescue mission in the country.

For more information on Unshackled, visit:  https://unshackled.org/

When Your Prayer Goes Bad

What do you do if you pray and things get worse?

I will be honest with you that this really messes with my head. I mean, how can this be? When you are praying sincerely for a need in your life and it gets worse instead of better, what are you supposed to think about that?

Why even pray then?

It’s probably one of the hardest things to deal with. I have prayed for people to be healed and they died.

Okay you are probably hoping that your name is not on my prayer list right now. Well I’m not saying this always happens but when it does, it throws me a bit.

Ultimately we have to realize that God isn’t our personal genie. He doesn’t grant our wishes just because we ask.

In the Book of Exodus, we are reminded of the Israelites’ after Moses and Aaron had appealed to Pharaoh to let the people go. God had heard the cries of the Israelites, and sent Moses to plead on their behalf. However, instead of helping the situation, it hurt! Pharaoh severely cut the supplies needed for their work. The situation seemed to become worse and even Moses became discouraged.

The Israelites already were tasked with making bricks with straw but now had to maintain the quota without straw.

Thanks Moses!

The story could have ended there, but Moses took his confusion and complaints to the Lord. Even more significant, he continued to obey God in spite of negative circumstances. Moses was full of doubt about his own abilities, and he was discouraged about the Israelites anger towards him, but he still continued to follow God’s path. We all know the outcome. God used his obedience to bring about a miraculous deliverance—just when things seemed impossible. In the end, terrible oppression made liberation seem even more incredible.

Even when the answer to our prayers go in the opposite direction - or worse - we can’t give up. God’s timing is crucial and He doesn’t rarely shares with us what He’s doing. Trusting is hard but a necessary part of prayer.

The old Hymn says “trust and obey”. When the answer doesn’t come we need to lean into the trust.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Experience

Today my wife and I attended the 99th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. We both grew up watching the parade on TV every year. I never thought we would actually get to see it in person.  We decided to see it live today.

It was an awesome experience.

Our day got off to an early start.  We got up at 6 am and took our subway to the 57th-7th station. It took us about 20 minutes to get there.  We walked about a couple of blocks then started looking for a good place to watch the parade.

No, we didn’t have a place in front of Macy’s. Only Macy’s employees and VIPs get to sit in those bleacher seats that you see on TV. We watched the parade from close to the start near Central Park.

Yes, there were crowds. We both got bumped around and constantly fighting for position. We were also near a rather lively group which keep everyone entertained while we were waiting for the parade to start.

You could feel the excitement when the start of the parade got to us. The floats, marching bands and balloons marched by us. The balloons were amazing to see in person. The entertainers didn’t stop to perform for us like you see on TV.

My favorite balloons were Bluey and Minnie Mouse.  I also liked the Sesame Street float.     

The hardest part was standing for over four hours. My feet and legs are sore now and may need a couple of days to recover.

I am glad we did this and had this experience. Would I do it again? Yes, most definitely. It was worth seeing in person.

Working to Live

I’m tired of working.

I just finished a brutal week of work. One day I put in 15 hours. I’m not asking for sympathy just stating my facts.

I have worked a job since I graduated from high school and went into the United States Air Force. I served eight years in active duty then worked with the Department of Justice for 30 years.

I retired from government a few years ago. So no more working? Retirement? That’s funny. No way I could live off of the retirement. It is just enough to pay most of our rent each month.

So I am still working.

True retirement is just a fantasy. I can’t imagine being able to afford to do it. Ever. At this point I totally expect to work until my very last day.

Maybe I can win the lottery.

I work harder now than I ever did before and it sucks the energy out of me. Every day I go down the work rabbit hole. I rarely come up for air and by the end of the day, I am completely mentally and physically wiped out.

There was once a time I could take some healthy breaks and even step away from my desk and take a short walk around my block but after some downsizing, I have absolutely no time during the day to take care of my wellness health.

I am not the all star employee or even the smartest one but I strive to be dependable and dedicated to the work. There was a time early in my career that I was a star and at the top but now I am content with being a good employee. I have been at the top of my career. I don’t need that now.

So I continue to work with no expectation of ever having a true retirement.

How have I function (and continue to function) like this? I still enjoy the accomplishments in a job well done, being shown appreciation and compensated for it. I also enjoy when I have time off and do my best to have a work-life balance although some times it gets a bit out of balance toward the work side.

Too many people work for retirement instead of living in the present. I once had a co-worker who always talked about his retirement and what he was going to do and how happy he was going to be to get out of the workplace. A few weeks after he retired he had a massive heart attack and died as he was getting ready to attend our office Christmas party.

Although I will probably always work, I want to live life and not defer it to some retirement fantasy.

Many of us go through our careers yearning for the day that we can finally retire. “I can’t wait to retire so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want,” or “I can’t wait for retirement so I can just relax and do the things that I enjoy” are common things that we say.

My life may be work but my life can be more than just work and more than living a retirement goal. I have to remind myself that even if I get tired of work, I am blessed to have a job and able to afford my life. I don’t want to struggle to live. I want my family to enjoy the benefits of me working.

So when work beats me up and I get a little discouraged about it, I just need to take time to recharge and regroup.

I’m still going to play the lottery.

Reset Your Mind

There are days when I don’t have it together or I feel that things are a bit out of control. 

I know that I am not alone.

Some days simply wear down your emotions to where you are more sensitive. At the moment I know that I am not functioning as the best version of myself. I recognize that I need to reset.

So what now? How do we reset?

First, you need to simply allow time to wind down. Rest. Quiet the mind. I have found that the best way is to put my mind on something else.

Vent if you can. Find someone you can confide in without being judged. Many times I just want to let it out without someone trying to fix it. There is a time for advice and a time to be heard.

Write in a journal. If you don’t feel comfortable confiding in someone then write it in a journal. Also do NOT post on social media. People do not need to know everything!

We all need time to reset ourselves when we have days that beat us up. We are not robots. We have feelings and emotions.

Everyone is different. You need to find the best method which works best for you. Just make sure that you have one. Don’t let your depleted emotions defeat you.

“Reload your mind; reset with the right mindset.” Delphanie Frank

Heroes of the Faith

We all need a little help along the way. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have needed help from others on my journey. None of us can do it alone. For me there have been people who have come in and out of my life to encourage or inspire me in some way to keep running this race.

Romans 1:11-12 says, "I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith."

They are my personal heroes of the faith. When I think about it, these are the people who immediately come to mind:

M.O. Sweat
My grandfather was the first one I recall looking up to and had a deep respect for. He was an old-time preacher man but he genuinely cared for his family and for people. Unfortunately, he passed away several years ago but his impact is still on my life today. I still have a video clip of when he once talked about how proud he was of me for sticking with God. That has encouraged me many times.

Bruce Scotton
My father was a preacher and would often schedule for evangelists to come to our church.  Bruce was an African-American evangelist who came to our church in Villa Rica, Georgia for a revival. This was the first time I recall receiving salvation. When we had other evangelists in our home, I was always invisible but Bruce included me. I remember fondly playing a handheld electronic football game with him.  He wasn't just a preacher but he was a real person to me. 

Eddie Smith
In one of the first churches my dad was appointed as pastor where we actually had young people close to my age, Eddie was the main one of the group and was a leader. I looked up to Eddie and he always someone you could talk to. 

Bubba Cardin
I first met Bubba when he was my counselor in church summer camp. He had an amazing way of teaching and making the Bible come alive. The first impression he made was his version of the song “He’s Alive” which he played on his banjo.  

Gary Lewis
One of my fellow preachers kids I first met in summer camp and other church events. We always had fun and always had a good laugh - many times at ourselves. He has become an inspiring minister.

Jay Thornton
Another fellow preachers kid I grew up with. At church camp we loved playing basketball and we also shared our love for our high school football teams. Jay is currently a pastor and just an overall great guy to know.

Gerald Green
Became my pastor. He was always a friend and came along to encourage me when I was going through some difficult times with my family. He even went to high school football games with me.

Lanis Lewis
Also a preachers kid (Gary’s brother) who I also met in church camp. He always fun to be around and one of the best preachers I have known. His sermons have always inspired and challenged me to be a better person.

Although I don’t interact with these regularly, I have been in contact with some throughout the years thanks to social media. The amazing thing is that when I do, it’s almost like we have never been apart. I also know that if I ever needed them they would support me in anyway they could. Their prayers and encouragement have helped me more than they will ever know. They are truly my heroes of the faith. I have been a better man because I have known them.

Am I Enough?

When you are alone with your thoughts, do you ever wonder if you are enough?

I do and I have.

Am I enough as a husband?
Am I enough as an employee?
Am I enough as a Christian?

I never feel like I am enough. Some of you may feel the same way. Imposter but pretending to have it together. Honestly I never feel like I have it together.

Am I down on myself? No. Just being transparent. Someone told me recently they struggled with "imposter syndrome".  Imposter Syndrome is a persistent self-doubt and a feeling of being a fraud despite evidence of our achievements.  We do enough to get by but never feel totally confident in ourselves.

What if we are exposed? What if people know the truth about us?

Those fears haunt us.

The one thing that we can be absolutely sure about is that God thinks we are enough. That’s the thing that I hold onto. Even those days I don’t feel I am enough, God tells me that I am.

God knows us. He knows our worth isn’t our job or what we do. He’s not impressed with a title.

We cannot let ourselves be weighed down by self-judgment and concern about your ability to make God accept you. We can't make Him love us more. The Creator of the Universe already loves us enough to sacrifice everything in order to be with us. He's loved us since the beginning of time, when He planned for our existence.

God's love is personal. He knows each of us individually and loves us personally. His is a mighty love that has no beginning and no end.

I am reminded of the song “I am a friend of God” by Israel Houghton

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing
[Chorus]
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

It’s not about being religious with God. It is about relationship. He wants to have a relationship with us. We are enough when we are a friend of God. 

 

Likes, Followers and Haters

Today's social media world is powered by followers and likes. There are people called "influencers" on social media who make at least $50,000 each year because of it. These influencers depend on people following them or liking them.

The flip side of having likes and followers in social media (or everyday life) is the haters. Like it or not we are all going to have haters. Not everyone is going to like us.

I have never been the popular person. Regardless of how much I wanted everyone to like me, I have always been challenged by those who didn't like me. I always hope that I am a likeable person to most people but sometimes people just don't like me for various reasons.

The reality is that we can't please everyone. So why can't we? People may not like us for many reasons.

Sometimes the reason people don't like us has nothing to do with us. I have encountered many arrogant people who are either excessively critical, selfish or feel the need to be competitive. Some only think of themselves and what benefits them. If you aren't of value then they don't make the effort.

I once had a person in my life who NEVER had a positive thing to say about me and was always critical about everything I did. It bothered me for many years until one day I realized that just because this person had an opinion about me didn't me they were right. I decided to go on and mostly not pay much attention to their issues with me.

We also know that people can be judgmental of us. They will assume things about us because of our looks, financial status, family, etc. They never get to know us. They make assumptions and decide they don't like us from the beginning.

Many times the reason people don't like us isn't about us but a reflection of the other person's own issues and insecurities. We can't always control it and we can't always "win" them over.

The way we deal with it is to do the best that we can and if we don't have anyone who likes or follows us, we just live our lives regardless of what they think of us. Believe me - from a person who lived most of his life trying to please people, you end up being the one that lives a miserable existence.  Yes, we should do our best to get along with everyone but when we can't we shouldn't stress out about it.

Stay composed and true to who you are.  Set boundaries and choose not to take it personally.  Yeah, I know that's hard to do but you will do better when you can be more chill about it.  Let go of your need to be liked by everyone.  Live with integrity and focus on your own values and goals.

"Some people don’t like you just because your strength reminds them of their weakness. Don’t let the hate slow you down.”  — Thema Davis

Getting the Grudge Out

The very sound of the word "grudge" sounds like something greasy and grimey. 

A grudge is defined as "a feeling of ill will or deep resentment". Perhaps one of the easiest traps we all can fall into is the "grudge" trap. A simple disagreement can turn into something that lasts for years. It is quite sad sometimes because the longer it exists, it sprouts deep roots. It doesn't matter how much effort you put forth in having the right relationships with people, you are still going to encounter difficulties with grudges. Everybody will not get along with you.

Christian or not, a grudge can take root within you. Romans 12:18 instructs us that "if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." This tells us that there are times we can do all that we can and that it is likely we could have people that we won't be able to live at peace with.

You might say: "So what? They did me wrong and I have a right to feel this way about them!" The truth is that you don't have a right to feel that way. Carrying a grudge against someone will hinder your relationship with God. Is it worth it? Besides, who does it really hurt when you have a grudge? The grudge hurts you more than it hurts the other person. It becomes a spiritual cancer that eats away at you on the inside. If it goes on long enough, it will also cause you physical problems too. Holding in the resentment causes problem for the person holding onto it.

David and Absalom carried a grudge which led to Absalom doing all he could to hurt his father and overthrowing David's kingdom. (2 Samuel 13-19) This resentment that Absalom eventually led him to his death. David tried to repair the relationship but nothing seemed to help. Paul and Barnabas had a
disagreement over Mark and parted ways; however it did not hinder their ministries. (Acts 15:36-41) Sometimes we find ourselves in that same position where nothing we do can make a difference. We can plead forgiveness or give someone chance after chance only to continue a cycle of an unhealthy relationship. Yes, we must try to live peaceably but when it doesn't happen, we can still have peace.

DEAL WITH IT
Okay, say you have problems with someone. What can you do to end the hostility? The first thing that should be attempted is simply dealing with the issues. The direct approach is usually the best and only way you can really resolve the resentment. The sooner, the better too. Don't resort to writing letters or just assume that the other person is supposed to make the first move. It doesn't matter who is at fault. An attempt MUST be made. You can live a lifetime expecting the "other" person to make the move. Deal with the issue as soon as possible. Allow each side to address the issues without further attacking
each other. If necessary, invite a third, neutral party to the meeting. Maybe a pastor or someone with spiritual maturity without partiality to one side or the other. Some type of mediator would be wise.

NO DEAL?
Sadly many people choose to avoid the issues altogether. They may give excuses that they can't handle confrontations or physically can't discuss the issues. That's a cop-out, even cowardly, reaction. If they cared enough, they would welcome the opportunity to come to the table and give it a try. The problem here is that you can't force the other person to deal with the issues. If you are robbed of this opportunity, you must still deal with the issues on your own. You have to get the grudge out of your own heart. How is this accomplished? Prayer and time spent with God. You must get to a place where you can forgive the other person with or without their cooperation. In addition to that, you must also get to a place where you can pray favorably for the other person as well. A prayer that God heap condemnation, fire and brimstone upon the other person so they will fall to their knees and grovel at your feet is NOT the prayer that God will honor. A prayer for the other person should be prayed that God will favor and love them. Pray that the other person will come into the knowledge of God. The point here is that if they get a right relationship with God, the chances are favorable that they will be reconciled to you. Regardless of what happens to the other person, you can only control your actions and attitudes.

IS THERE A GUARANTEE FOR RECONCILIATION?
Even when God responds to your prayers for the other person, there is no guarantee that you will achieve a reconciliation. That isn't sin. Sometimes you have to part ways in life to live peaceably. The same thing happened between Abraham and Lot. (Genesis 13) You can do this without resentment or
continuing a feud. You must keep a right attitude and mind. There may come a time with the other person may need to call upon you. When that time comes, you must not take that as an opportunity for revenge but reach out in love. The key to having spiritual power is this: overcoming evil with good. (Romans 12:21)

FORGIVING AND FORGETTING
People often say: "I can forgive but I can't forget." That statement cancels out the whole process of forgiveness. The point in forgiving and forgetting isn't that we won't remember the pain that someone has caused us but in our ability to not make the person continue to pay for the offense. I know of people that will "forget" a hurt until a new disagreement or issue occurs and they will reach back and pull out all those past hurts as ammunition to justify their position in the present situation. This is wrong. Drop it and let it go. You will never discover spiritual freedom in Christ until you can do that. Forgiveness isn't always going to "feel" good but it is a necessary step to take.

There are many times that I find myself approaching the Lord in my prayers asking for His help in getting over past hurts. I can't develop instant amnesia and totally forget what people have done to me. It may take several trips to the prayer closet to help me get over it. It isn't a one-time emotional feel good
experience.

No, it isn't easy but are you going to let a grudge keep you from a relationship with God? Is it really worth it? This is a bait that Satan enjoys to keep before us. If He can root an attitude of resentment, then He succeeds in blocking our relationship with God. If God can forgive us and show mercy to us, can't we afford others that same chance for frivolous things which begins the grudge in the first place? Seemingly, many people - including Christians - forget that it is by God's grace that they have been saved and not because of any good which they have done. (Eph. 2:8-9). Unfortunately many have a prideful spirit about themselves which can cause a person to be very unforgiving toward anyone who offends them or who does not do things the way they want them done. Every year family reunions have some of the family absent because of a grudge. It is a terrible thing for a person to go through life with the grudge.

If you have resentment in your heart toward someone you may feel justified for feeling the way you do. Perhaps you intend to make the other person pay by "freezing them out" of your life or waiting for you opportunity to take revenge.  Our natural tendency is to "get even" and make the person feel worse than we did for our offense. That opportunity may or may not come. If it does, I assure you that it is a hollow victory. You won't hear the cheers of the crowd or points for life. The root of the grudge will only penetrate deeper and deeper. The only true victory is in the restoration of your life in Christ. The roots of resentment can be removed and a freedom can be experienced in your life more than the acts of revenge could ever fulfill. Instead of giving into the natural tendency of holding a grudge, resolve within yourself to react the opposite of your fleshly desires. In that, you will discover the key to spiritual power in your life.

Turning Over the Pews

There was a time during the life of Jesus when He got really mad.  So mad that He lost it in the temple.  Why did Jesus become angry?  He saw that the temple had turned into a "den of robbers" where people were greedy in their sale of animals for sacrifice and the money changers were set up in the Court of Gentiles preventing non-Jews from coming to worship God.  The greed and exploitation of worshippers by the merchants was defiling a holy place.

I think Jesus needs to get whip back out and overturn the pews in churches in America today.  Churches have turned into a place of politics.  I’m tired of how politics have infected Christianity.  I'm not casting a blanket over all churches but you could agree with me that there are way too many churches concerned about political agendas.  

I don't attend church anymore.  I haven't since 2010 when I left the church organization I had belonged to all my life.  I won't say that I will never be involved in a church again but at this point I don't see it happening. I certainly don’t know how I could do it today with the influence politics has on it now.

I didn't leave church because of politics.  Why did I leave the church? There is a long story but I will save that for another time. The short answer is that every Sunday I was more miserable and frustrated with my life after I left church than when I arrived. Something had to change. I had to change. 

I left the church but I didn’t leave God. My personal relationship with God grew stronger and remains strong.  I have become very disgusted with the American church today and how politics has perverted the reason churches exist in the first place.

I am very careful who I listen to now and not be taken away by a preachers opinion or how they slant the truth. Honestly I read or listen to my audio Bible more than listening to any preaching. We are living in the times when we must fight to hold onto the truth.

A church should NEVER tell you that you can't be a Republican or Democrat to be a Christian.  It's not about that.  The church needs a good shaking back to the main thing again and it's not who is the president.  

Preachers are slanting the gospel to politics.  The Bible tells us that "we are no longer children, tossed around by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine by human cunning by craftiness and deceitful schemes." (Ephesians 4:14)

Tell me that we aren't seeing these "deceitful schemes" being played out today?    

We are in a time where we have to  “work out our own salvation” now and we must be careful what we see, hear and scroll. 

If Jesus were going through many churches today, He would be saying "My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations but you have made it a den of politics and hate."  

The church should be a place of safety for all. A place where the human rights and civil rights of all are affirmed and defended inside and outside the walls of the church. If the call for justice and advocacy for “the least of these” is the action that deems us political and involved in politics, may the church always be that! Silence in the face of tyranny and oppression is antithetical to the prophetic call to seek justice.

Ignoring the hungry, the poor, the unhoused, the uneducated, the undereducated, the sick, the anxious, and those whose very existence is threatened by injustice is to deny the example set by the ministry of Jesus who spoke out against the empire of his day and against the religious leaders who had the power and position as they contributed to the oppression of the people. Jesus had a lot to say about the religious elite who cozied up to the emperor and the empire while collecting temple taxes and tithes.

Preaching politics is something that some pastors have chosen to do.  The problem is that if you are more identified with your politics than your preaching of the Word of God, then people will often come to you for your preaching on politics rather than your preaching of the Word of God.  We don't need a Bible with the Constitution or even the American flag in it.  

I would urge you to resist the current pull of politics and make it about the main thing again. The main thing is this: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Fall Adventure in Mystic and Newport

My wife and I celebrated our 14th anniversary last week.  We decided to go on a trip to Mystic, Connecticut and Newport, Rhode Island.  My wife has always wanted to visit Mystic since we have been together, and we both have hoped to explore the New England coast at some point in our lives.  Yes, we are old-ER now and enjoy some "leave peeping" during the fall.  Our drive into Connecticut was full of trees with colors bursting of the fall season.

Mystic is a nice, small city on the coast of Connecticut.  Yes, this is the place where the 1988 movie Mystic Pizza starring Julia Roberts was filmed.  We did partake of the famous pizza, and it wasn't too bad.  Oddly enough, we were there on the 37th anniversary of when the movie was released.  We didn't know it until later in the day.  We enjoyed walking through the shops along the main street in Mystic.  Mostly your typical tourist stores.  We enjoyed views of the Mystic Bay and walking the short boardwalk.  A short drive from the downtown area was "Old Mystic Village" which featured more shops and restaurants which we explored and couldn't resist the temptation of making a few purchases.  Next to the village is the Mystic Aquarium.  The aquarium has an awesome Beluga Whale exhibit, and the keepers were eager to talk about them.  We stood at the tank for a long time enjoying these beautiful creatures.  We also enjoyed the seal/sea lion exhibit and the main gallery.  We were disappointed that the penguin exhibit was closed during our visit, but we still enjoyed our time there.   

We were in Mystic on Monday and Tuesday of our week so there were barely any crowds; however, we stopped back in Mystic on our trip home on Saturday and the crowds were overwhelming.  It reminded me of Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge crowds on a weekend.  

Newport wasn't a planned destination.  We were going to stop there on our way to Cape Cod, but we stopped in this Rhode Island city on the coast and loved it.   My wife and I love water, and the harbor/ocean views were absolutely amazing.  We are in love with this place now.  Newport was an unexpected surprise.  We stayed at the Brenton Hotel and had an amazing water view of the harbor.  There were many streets of shopping, food, museums and history.  We also toured three of the Newport Mansions.  The tours of The Breakers, Rosecliff and The Elms was amazing.  If you ever go to Newport, you need to tour The Breakers mansion which just totally blew us away.  Millionaires built these mansions as their summer homes and spared no expense.  Our favorite location was Brenton Point State Park where we parked and enjoyed the water view of the Atlantic Ocean.  We stopped here at least three times on our visit.  Just amazing views of the water, sail boats and waves crashing against the rocks.  

If you are planning to visit either of these places, I will warn you that it is expensive for lodging and food.  It was a lot more than we were expecting but we worked it out and enjoyed our visits.  It was a very nice adventure for us.  We also got a peek at Taylor Swift's mansion near Westerly, Rhode Island on a drive from Mystic to Newport.  

Our adventure was an ideal fall trip to celebrate our 14th anniversary.  Mystic was magical and Newport was an unexpected surprise.  

The Merging of Good and Evil

We are in a battle of good against evil. Sadly, it looks like evil is winning. Recently my wife and I were talking about the events in the news and it just seems that everyday there is a new level of evil. The scary thing about it is that people are blurring the lines between good and evil.

The Bible warned us about this in Isaiah 5:20-21:

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!

You can’t even call someone out for doing wrong. When you do instead of admitting their error, they will attack you instead. We live in a time when nobody is wrong. Many refuse to accept accountability for their actions. People would rather justify them doing evil than repenting of their ways and doing what is right.

In our country there is a divide between Republicans and Democrats with good and evil being interchanged constantly until people really don’t know who to believe. Anything that is contrary to what someone believes is called “fake news” or attacked. The truth doesn’t stand a chance. Just because a politician or someone in the media believes something is true doesn’t mean it is. We have to be careful in weighing the good and evil. We can’t rely on what “they” say but trust what God has already said about it.

Apart from God, our value system will always become jumbled. We will begin to confuse sweetness and bitterness, light and darkness, and good and evil. Many look for every reason to disprove the Bible or have a belief in God rather than just simply doing what the Bible says. They would rather debate you and argue.

In these challenging days, we have to stick to a standard and that standard is the Holy Word of God. You can’t just base what is right on what you feel. Feelings change and we don’t like being told we are wrong.  Somehow we have to fight to keep the separation between good and evil.

Can "No Kings" Cause Change?

This weekend millions of people participated in “No Kings Day” protests around the country.  Based on this if I were president I think I would examine my actions which cause millions to protest you. Instead, he posts an AI-generated video showing him flying a military jet, wearing a king’s crown and dumping feces on the protestors. Can you even imagine the reaction if any of the former presidents have done that?

Clearly we can see that our country is no longer united.  There are some deep lines drown between us.  So seeing the protests yesterday, I wondered if it will do any good?  How can these protests affect any real change?  The politicians only want us to donate money but how can anything change?

So what other protest made any changes in American history?

U.S. Civil Right Movement - The 1963 march on Washington for jobs and freedom, featuring Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech, helped build momentum for the Civl Rights Act of 1964.

Women’s Suffrage - Women's suffrage advocates organized demonstrations, petitions, and civil disobedience to demand voting rights.  The decades-long movement culminated in the ratification of the 19th Amendment in 1920, granting women the right to vote in the U.S.

Anti-Vietnam War Protests - A nationwide series of events in October and November 1969, this was a significant turning point that mobilized a mass movement and helped to erode public support for the war.

Protests do work and can create change.  I don’t know how the “No Kings” protests will make change.  We are definitely in a crucial time in American history.  

Watching these protests made me remember the Schoolhouse Rock episode.  

Watch it here:  https://youtu.be/WvOZs3g3qIo?si=y_vuqvIrony4fKFy

It is my hope that things will change whether these protests make a difference or not but I honestly can’t see it right now.   

Tales from the Courtroom: Taking One for the Team

I was looking back at my journal and read that it was six years ago today that I was thrown under the bus for a technical issue in a case I was working.  The issue had to do with electronic data our side had not turned over to the other party.  Without getting too deep into the technical stuff, when we process data, we will do something called deduplication which - in this case - we removed any EXACT duplicates from the data we had processed to turn over to the opposing party.  This process is supposed to aid lawyers in reviewing data, so they don't have to review anything that is an exact duplicate.  

Unfortunately, neither my attorneys or the opposing attorneys understood this, and it made it as if we hadn't turned over all of the data.  This misinformation caused the opposing party to request a continuance and six years ago today we had to appear in court to explain it; however, my attorneys threw me under the bus and laid the blame on their "IT person" for not turning over the data.  The judge scolded the lead attorney and me.

I still get mad about this all over again when I think about it.  Could I have handled it better and headed off this issue?  Yes.  I should have made a better effort in ensuring that my attorneys understand what deduplication meant.  They didn't and I took the hit for it.

So, as a result of this court incident, we turned over the EXACT copies of data they already had.  It was just yet another delay tactic by the opposing party and in the end, the defendant was still convicted. 

So, to make the issue clear: 

Deduplication in litigation refers to the process of identifying and removing duplicate documents during the legal discovery and review stages. This is crucial in both civil and criminal law to prevent wasted resources and conflicting outcomes. Legal systems must develop mechanisms to prevent the same issue from being litigated multiple times across different courts or jurisdictions.

In layman's terms, it means if you have exact copies of the same document.  Do you really want to review all the copies when you only need to review one?

Beware Of False Peace Agreements

If you are impressed by this week's peace agreements in the Middle East I have some news for you - it won't last.  

It is possible that this so-called peace agreement is just playing into the gameplan of Biblical end times prophecy.

A couple of verses that have caught my attention regarding this week's events:

1 Thessalonians 5:3

"While people are saying peace and safety destruction will come upon them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape."

This belief often ties into end-time prophecy, suggesting that a false or temporary peace agreement will be broken, leading to a period of judgment for those who do not believe in Christ.

Daniel 9:27

"He will confirm a covenant with many for one seven. In the middle of the seven he will put an end to sacrifice and offering. And at the temple he will set up an abomination that causes desolation, until the end that is decreed is poured out on him."

Bible prophecies regarding Middle East peace often focus on a seven-year covenant described in this passage, which some Bible scholars believe will be a temporary, false peace leading to conflict rather than a permanent peace.  Other prophecies refer to a future time when the Messiah will bring ultimate peace to the region.

So is this where we are right now?  How long will this peace last?  Will it lead us in the end times?

Most world leaders will accept a false peace treaty, described in which the activities of a false messiah will bring about. This false messiah will be so politically influential and powerful, so militarily strong that he will guarantee this peace agreement. Then, after a few years, he will break that treaty himself, and Israel’s temporarily peaceful neighbors will turn and make war against the Jewish people.

That's Just How They Are

Difficult people.

You've been around them, worked with them or probably even related to them.

They get a free pass for being snappy, grumpy or just mean.  You complain about them and you are told "that's just how they are."

Why do these people get a free pass?

Growing up I used to have issues with my dad and my mom would always say "well, son, that's just the way he is."

I never liked that excuse.  If someone is an ass then they need to be corrected but most of the time people don't because they "don't want to poke the bear".  (I don't like that term either)

So we just let the bear do what the bear wants to do.

The thing that always infuriates me is that if I have a bad day or a rare moment and act the wrong way I am the one called out about it.  I don't get that "well that's how he is" pass.   It is definitely a double-standard.

I can't tell you the many people I worked with that got a free pass because of their personality.  I would often work for one attorney who everyone avoided if possible because he was difficult to deal with yet when anyone would fuss about him the supervisor would say - "well, that's (attorney's name) and you know how he is." Then once I am difficult and I get reprimanded by my supervisor.  

One thing I have learned in my experience with these people is that it is a waste of time to try to win them over.  You can't force them to change.  They have been allowed to be their annoying personality for so long that it would take a Holy Ghost experience to change them.  The only way we can be around these people who get a free pass is just to be who we are.  Don't let their crappy personality poison ours.

No doubt we will always have difficult people to deal with.  We aren't perfect either and I really hope that I'm not that difficult person to someone else.  It would crush me to know that my actions are being excused away because that's how I am.  

Liking NYC Better

I have moved around many times during my life.

When we moved to New York in April I hated it. It was a tough adjustment for me.

Now I like it much better and I think that it was the best move we have ever made.

It still surprises me that I like it here. Until moving here, I had lived my whole life in the South.

Living here is still not without its challenges but I have adjusted.

Following the election last November we decided it was best for us to move and when other situations came together, we decided to make the move. Even though I have moved around a lot, I do not like the moving process at all. However, we got to work and made it happen.

Sadly, there are some that didn’t understand why we moved and not happy with our decision. I am sorry about this reaction to our move. This was something we had to do. It is unfair to expect someone to stay in a place where they aren’t happy. We are happy here.

Although we are happy here, we are still not sure if we will stay here either. There are several factors which might determine another move. The main factor is finances and whether or not we can afford to stay where we are. It is very expensive to live here. So we could end up pissing off more people should we decide to move again. I don't know. We will see how this plays out.

For now, we will live in the present. We love the adventures we have here. We have easy access to the New York Subway and Long Island Railroad. We never had these adventures before. We felt stuck while watching others travel the world and living through their social media posts. Now we get to do it after not being able to do it for many years with our moves being dictated by my job.

Right now as I type this blog I could look to my right and see the LIRR train roll by with the skyline of Manhattan in the background. How cool is that? Yep, I'm liking it better now.