34 Likes In A Minute

I am convinced that the most overused, non-profanity word is “like”.  It is crazy how much this word is grossly overused in conversations.  I overheard a conversation recently and actually counted that the word “like” was used 34 times in one minute.  It gets to the point of being ridiculous.  Why is the word “like” being used so much to the point of oblivion?

Here’s how the conversation went:

”I told him like this was like how we needed to go down to like Times Square because we like will be like in the middle of a bunch of people who like go down there and like a lot of tourists….”

You see what I mean?  So why do people do this?

Some have fallen into the habit of using it to fill gaps in their conversation because their brain is running faster than their mouth.  It is also a substitute for “um” or “uh”.  Using the the word “like” is the in thing now with current social habits for people to connect to their friends.

It is very annoying.  

Ways that people can calm down using the word “like”.  First, just slow down and take a break.  Be okay with taking a pause in your conversation instead of feeling compelled to add extra words.  Also practice the way you talk.

For me, I think overuse of the word “like” is just as annoying as when people use the F-word.  I get like very annoyed like people using the word “like” so much.

Three Ways That God Heals

When we prayer earnestly for God to heal, most of the time we are hoping it will be instant miracle.

Most of the time it isn’t. I have seen various ways God heals during my lifetime. I remember when I was growing up that my dad never took medicine and never went to the doctor. He believed totally in divine healing. I have seen him laying on the floor rolling in extreme pain believing God would heal him.

When I have encountered moments in my life when I or someone I love needed at healing that I knew it was going to be a lot of praying. I really can’t remember when I prayed and suddenly there was a healing.

Nothing really stands out in my mind but I do believe that God heals.

Here are the ways that He heals:.

Divine Healing
This is when healing occurs which defies any scientific explanation. A divine healing can happen instantaneously or over a period of time.

Some of the ways that divine healing works are:

By touch through the physical contact or the laying on of hands.
By the spoken word when someone commands the sickness to leave.

By faith and action where the recipient actively seeks out God or through obeying a specific instruction.

Healing Through Medicine
Contrary to what many Christians believe, God can use doctors and medicine to heal. In spite of all of the medical technology, there is never a guarantee that a treatment is going to work. The way our human bodies work is so complex.

Rather than viewing science and faith as competing, they are often complementary. Medicine is views by many as a divine gift of wisdom and doctors, nurses and treatments as instruments through which God brings restoration and healing.

The Ultimate Healing
This is one that none of wants to happen. This healing happens when someone passes from this life into eternity.

When we pass from our physical body we will experience the final healing and a place where there is no more pain or death.

Although we pray for a physical healing, the ultimate and complete restoration of our body and soul is fulfilled beyond physical death.

God always heals, we just don’t always know how or when He will perform the healing. None of us wants to suffer or see our loved ones suffer. We pray and believe that God will have compassion and answer our prayers for the healing. The challenge is for us to be prepared for how He does it.

Is God Fighting My Battles?

I like to control things.  

There, I said it.

It’s a confession that I am not proud of.

So when I face difficult times, naturally I try to figure it out and resolve it myself.  Unfortunately, I don’t always have the solution.  I do not have the control l would like to think I have.

Having faith in God is hard.  It means you have to let go.  The battles we face aren’t ones we can fight on our own.  It’s hard to give up the control and let God fight our battles for us.

God is in control whether we believe it or not.  He’s God.  We are not. I would like to have the faith of David when he was standing in the Valley of Elah facing a giant named Goliath.  Although David had picked five stones he only needed one to take out the giant in his battle.  We all need the courage of David in the moments we are facing the battles that challenge us.

We have to be all in if we are trusting in God to fight for us even if the results aren’t what we were expecting.   I have no cute quotes or feel-good cliches to give you on this.  You either trust God in your battles or you don’t.  If you are on the Lord’s side then be on it and trust that his strategy is the right one.

I write this for you but I can tell you that this isn’t easy.  Trusting God is hard and takes every ounce of you.  It’s hard to let go.  Until you are in a battle, you truly don’t know.  As smart as we all think we are, none of us truly knows what is ahead for us.  We don’t know what will test us or the battle we will face.  We can’t prepare for the battle we don’t know but we can put our trust in the one who will fight for us.

If we put our trust in God, He can help us to stay calm and not panic.  He goes ahead of us to open doors, move obstacles and arrange solutions we do not see yet.  Sometimes if He doesn’t remove the battle, He will give us the strength to endure it.  

Thoughts About Trusting God During the Rough Times

There are times we never saw coming. We never truly know what is ahead in our lives.

I have always trusted in God to keep me and He has so far. It is not an easy trust sometimes.

We all go through things. That’s life. We can’t get mad about who’s helping or not helping us. We still have to get through the rough parts.

There are times I am strong in my faith and there have been times I doubted if I ever had any faith at all. That’s why they are called trials and tests. We don’t truly know how strong our faith is until it is tested.

Mine has been tested. I can’t say that I have gotten an "A" on this test. I just hope I will pass.

Some may think I’m silly for trusting in God but that’s all I’ve ever known. I know people don’t believe in God. I know the strong feelings people have about Christians and religion. I can’t control what others think. I know who I am and my own experience.

I often listen to the song “Remember to Remember” by Stephen Curtis Chapman and this verse:

And now I'm looking out at the road that's waiting
But my eyes can only see so far out ahead of me
As sure as the sun will shine there'll be more mountains I will climb
And more deep dark shadowlands where desperate faith is all I have
Until I'm home, I'm resting all my hope and trust
In the only One whose name is: God with us

God never promised it would be easy.  I know some Christians who have nearly lost their minds when they have a flat tire thinking something like that shouldn't happen to them.  Life hits us all in some way.  We don't always expect and there are no guarantees that things won't get rough.  We do the best we can and trust God. 

Life can be rough, and sometimes it feels like everything is falling apart. Maybe you’re facing loss, uncertainty, or a problem that just won’t go away. In those moments, it’s easy to feel scared, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next. But you don’t have to carry that burden alone—God is with you, even when things feel out of control.

The truth is, trusting God in difficult situations isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about believing He is still in control, even when life doesn’t make sense.

Hard times don’t last forever, but God’s love does. When life feels overwhelming, take one step at a time. Pray, even if all you can say is, “Lord, help me.” Surround yourself with people who will lift you up. Read His Word and let His promises remind you that He is working behind the scenes. You may not see the full picture now, but one day, you’ll look back and understand how God was guiding you through it all.

Thoughts About Driving In NYC

I finally did it today.  For the first time since we have moved here, I drove into Manhattan.  

It was actually better than I had expected but I was also blessed to have lesser traffic than usual.

Since March, we have been going into the city three times a week for appointments.  With the subway not being a good option, we have been using ride shares such as Lyft and Uber for our trips to/from the city.  Unfortunately, the ride shares had pushed us to our limit with how absolutely ridiculous they drive without regard to health issues.  I have had to fuss at too many drivers lately.  When the ride is more stressful than the actual appointment, something is very wrong.  

So, as the last resort, I decided to drive today.  We have been taking the same route for months so I knew what to expect (usually expect the unexpected) so I took the leap to get behind the wheel and drove into the city.  I have past driving experiences in Puerto Rico, Panama, Atlanta and Nashville but nothing quite compares to New York City.  There are a lot of vehicles, pedestrians, bicycles and other obstacles in tight spaces.  

After a dreadful ride share experience on Tuesday, I starting getting myself mental prepared for driving into the city.  I was finally tired of the stress of depending on a "professional" driver to drive us.  I waited up until we had to leave this morning to go through with it.  

The drive was the most stress-free ride we've had.  I do drive rather cautiously and I am in no way a great driver but I drove at the pace we needed and completed the task.  Crystal did a great job of navigating.  When you drive here, you seriously need as many extra "eyes" as you can to get around.  She navigated me perfectly.

This is more than just tooting my own horn (no pun intended) but a very sad commentary on a majority of the Lyft and Uber drivers we have experienced. We have paid way too much for each ride for most of them being crappy rides and dealing with drivers who are unable to understand or sympathize with our requests for a calm ride.  The ride share services fail at helping those who need something special for their ride experiences.  We never asked for a celebrity chauffeur treatment, just someone that wouldn't drive like a crazy taxi driver in NYC!  I have a long list of drivers I have blocked from accepting our requests.  That is pathetic.  

Will I continue driving into the city?  Probably.  Let's just enjoy today's experience.  We can't assume that it will always be like it was today.  

For today - at least - I can say that I drove in Manhattan.

What if or Even if?

When we pray, we are told to have faith and trust God. We pray with faith hoping that God will answer our prayers - - but what if He doesn’t? 

When we prayer and have faith, there are no guarantees that it will turn out how we hope it will. Sometimes it could be worse. What happens to our faith then? What if God doesn’t come through for us?

It’s a scary thought.

I think about the story of the three Hebrew boys who refused to worship the king and were thrown into a fiery furnace. When given the opportunity to recant, they stood firm. I’m sure they prayed that God would save them but now they were in the furnace it seemed like they were going to die. Even with that, they said that even if God didn’t deliver them that they still would not bow. The King made the furnace ten times hotter, but the Hebrews were not burned, and the king even saw a fourth person in the fire with them. They were delivered.

I wish I had faith strong enough to say that “even if” God doesn’t answer my prayer that I will still trust Him. It’s easy to say that you will when you aren’t going through something, but it is a different thing when you are in the furnace.

You pray for someone you love to be healed and they die.
You pray for financial help, and you are forced to go bankrupt.
You ask for deliverance and your situation get worse.
You ask for God to remove a difficult person from your life, and He replaces them with two difficult people.

Regardless of how much faith we have, we aren’t ready for the opposite answer to our prayers. That is when our faith is truly put to the test.

Fear is “what if”
Faith is “even if”
It is a huge leap. It takes a lot of courage to get to the “even if” place.

The “even if” place is trusting in God even if things get worse or totally opposite of what we are praying for.

That’s the place we need to be. That’s the place where there is true peace. It’s a peace that can’t be explained or understood. The Bible even tells us that when it says that the peace of God, which goes beyond our understanding, will guard our hearts and our minds. (Philippians 4:7). This describes a place we have a solid trust in the middle of our anxieties. Instead of being dependent on a perfect or stress-free circumstance this is an internal stability that can only be from our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Even if things don’t work out, we will still trust Him?

I’m trying to get there.

Thoughts About My Religion

Christian.

That's what I had always considered myself.  

I grew up in religion.  When I was born, my father had just accepted his calling into the ministry.  A few years later he was appointed to his first church in Valdosta, Georgia.  I became a preacher's kid and would be known as that for many years that followed.

I was taught about God and was raised in a church family.  My life was about the church.  Our specific denomination was very strict and a lot of rules which were intended to keep its members "holy" in some way.  

When I left home and went out on my own I had to unlearn and relearn some things about my religion and who God really was.  For years I tried to find my "calling" in the ministry as if it were some holy grail that would magically transform my life.  

Then life happened.  Twists and turns.  Decisions and choices made which changed me.  

I have always struggled with my relationship with God.  How is it possible to talk to someone who never talks back?  How can you even be sure that in the world of billions of people that He could possibly hear my prayers?  

Have faith?  Walk in the Spirit?  Read the word?

Those are the answers you are given when you question it.

I don't need a God which only comes out when I'm jumping, clapping and singing songs projected on a screen or ancient hymns from a song book.  I need a God that is there.  Even after all of these years and hundreds of sermons I have heard I am still not sure about any of this.  No, I don't doubt that there is a God.  He's not the one I doubt.  It is me.  I doubt me.  

I don't call myself a Christian because so many Christians have ruined that title with their judgments and political agendas.  I call myself a believer.  

I still believe.  

I just don't have any answers.  Still don't.  That's sad.  After all these years I have no magical relationship with God like others claim.  God doesn't send angels to give me messages or some prophet to guide my way.  My prayers are just one-sided conversations.  

It is a paradox.  I trust God but I don't trust that He knows me.  Quite honestly I am not important to His plans.  He's much like a celebrity.  I know of Him but He does not know me or that I exist.  So I am relegated to a fan who hopes He will notice me.

The Bible says we can be a "friend of God" but He's a silent friend.  

I have known many who have turn away from God and their religion.  Regardless of how I have stated this, I will not.  I will not give up God.  This is who I am and who I have always been.  That doesn't mean I am perfect or an example you should admire.  Far from it.  I have sinned and failed many times.  It isn't always praise and worship songs.  For me, to serve God means to press through even when you feel like I do now.  It's all I know. 

I will talk to God even though I'm not sure I know how to pray.  I will trust in Him to guide me through the steps He orders and circumstances that happen.  This has been my religion.    

Thoughts About Walking in Public

Now that I have lived in NYC for over a year now, I have done a lot of walking on the sidewalks of the city and am familiar with the adventure of walking in public. Someone said that they can get road rage just walking.  I can understand that feeling. Many times I am stunned by how people walk.  There should be some rules so I have my list of unofficial rules for walking in public.

#1

Be aware of your surroundings.

Believe it or not, you may not be the ONLY person walking on the sidewalk.  Walking on the sidewalks of a major city would go a lot smoother if people would just simply beware of others around them.  This will be a common theme among the other rules to follow.

#2  

Walk on this side you drive on.

It’s not hard, people. Since we live in America and drive on the right side of the road, naturally we should also walk on the right side.  Obviously there are times when this is not possible but as a general rule we should all know which side to choose.  I can’t tell you how many times I have been straight on with someone and they could not comprehend this simple knowledge. Walking flows much better when you are are the “right” side of the walkway.

#3

When walking in a group, don’t take up the entire sidewalk.

I have seen people - mostly tourists - walk four, five or six wide across the sidewalk and refuse to move out of the way.  Again - be aware of your surroundings - adjust to other walkers.  You’re not the only one walking.

 

#4

If you have to stop, step to the side first.

Do NOT come to a dead stop or suddenly turn around. I had this happen to me twice just today.  People walking and suddenly decide to either stop suddenly or stop and turn around.  If you need to stop and regroup, it’s best to step to the side and left the walking traffic continue with their pace.

#5

Merge to walkers when exiting a store.

It amazes me how people will exit a store totally oblivious that others might be walking by.  I have had close calls carrying our Starbucks order when people have bolted out of stores and nearly collided with me.  The people on the sidewalk have the right of way.

#6

Don’t tailgate someone.  

Just with driving, you shouldn’t tailgate people walking in front of you.  They don’t need to feel your breath on their neck.  Adjust your stride or pass the person ahead of you.  Don’t walk on their heels.

#7

Don’t blow smoke, cough or sneeze without making sure no one is around you.  

It’s rude and there are also health risks involved in doing it.  I’ve even had people spit in front of me.  That’s gross and totally inconsiderate. 

#8

Be alert at pedestrian crossings.

Street crossings are very dangerous.  You have to look out for vehicles, bicycles, scooters and other transportation on the street.  I yelled at a lady walking in front of me today when she was nearly hit by a bicycle.  Always assume that a vehicle may not yield to you in the crosswalk.  Sometimes they may not even see you.  

#9

Put the phone away when you are walking.

This one is very annoying.  People lose all sense of their surroundings when they are texting or looking at their phones instead of walking.  If you need to look at your phone, step to the side or do it while you are stopped at a crosswalk.  

The main point is to be aware of your surroundings.  We don’t always walk at the same pace and we are all need to be somewhere too.  Think of others.  It’s not that difficult to do.

The worst places to walk in NYC are the tourist areas like Times Square, Central Park or during Christmas.  People lose their minds and forget how to walk in public. 

Recognize the flow of movement, the pace of people walking and realize that you are not the only one walking.

 

Thoughts About Unanswered Prayers

It was a simple prayer. An easy ask.

I prayed that God would divinely appoint us with the right Uber driver to a medical appointment.

Prayer was not answered.

It was an awful drive. Totally opposite of what I had asked.

Could God not answer this simple, easy request for me?

He did not.

I have no answer for this.

You can’t assume anything when you pray. You pray. Sincerely ask and there is no guarantee that you will receive what you ask for.

I sit here without any answer for this. Where is God when you ask for something simple as a stress-free Uber ride?

I will be honest with you. Right now I am not handling this too well. I’m not asking for anything from you. I just want to show you the real life of a believer.

The reality is that you don’t always get answers to your prayers. I’m not giving up, I’m just a little tired of this. I’m questioning if I even know HOW to pray. Why can’t I have powerful prayers that will get God’s attention?

Does it even matter if I pray for something as silly as getting the right Uber driver?

It may seem like a silly thing to you but if you are in my place and my situation you would see it differently. Some things we blow off as silly are huge to some people.

When God is silent or doesn’t answer prayers as we expect, it can be deeply painful.

I mean why would He tell us to ask, seek and knock if He weren’t going to answer? Why does God tell us to pray about everything when He knows that many of our requests will go unanswered and results in our diminishing trust in Him?

What’s up with this?

I simply don’t get it.

He already knows how stressful these Uber rides have been so does it even matter if I pray about this at all? The big question is: am I making things worse by praying for them in the first place?

So, you see, being a believer isn’t all about everything going my way and living in a total cloud of holiness with every step I take being anointed with some supernatural power. I wish I could be like some of these people I see who are heavenly minded and in a constant praise and worship service. Speaking in tongues and nothing bothering them.

This isn’t working for me.

One simple ask which was denied.

Christian cliches aren’t helping me right now. The only thing that will help are real answers to prayer.

“Who am I that You are mindful of me” is a famous Bible verse in Psalm 8:4 where King David wrote while wondering why the creator of the universe would even care for him as a human.

Why would God answer my prayers? In a world of billions, how does God even know me? Is Milton’s prayers worth answering or even listening to?

That is a question you wonder during the storms in your life.

I’m being real. Nothing holy about this and nothing really inspiring for you to take from my meager writing in an insignificant blog.

Whether I ask or not, I will face the same obstacles tomorrow. Will I continue to pray? Yes. I know nothing else. There is no other place to go.

Being Brave While Being Scared

"Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared."

I heard this quote in a movie last week. This is very timely and appropriate for my life right now.

I have many moments over the past four months when I have been scared but I have had to push through it. I haven’t felt very brave. I have had to face everyday being scared. It hasn’t been an easy road.

We don’t always have a choice about being brave. We don’t normally choose to run into things that scare us. It is our tendency to avoid anything which causes us pain.

Being brave means that you face each moment. You fight the battles as they come. When your days and weeks are a roller coaster of emotions, you simply do your best to hang on and ride it out.

I am one that believes in God. My faith has been tested. I have been strong at times but most of the time I have barely had enough to force out a prayer. Tough times wear you down. You learn that you can’t depend on others to help you. Their priority is not what you are going through. You do it alone. You trust God that it will end well.

Sometimes you have no choice but to be brave. I’m not expecting any medals. I just want to get through this.

These times change you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes it wounds your spirit. This time has challenged my faith. I will never be the same after this.

I wake up every day scared in anticipation of what the day will bring. I hope for the good but brace myself for the worst. I try to listen to God’s voice but at times it has been drowned out by voices of fear. Maybe I’m not so brave. I’m no spiritual giant. I’m just Milton. A product of two generations of preachers. A pedigree which means nothing right now.

My life is consumed with test results and trust in medical science. My so-called bravery is in waiting and trusting the process. Being brave is not the absence of fear, but choosing to take action and move forward despite feeling afraid or uncomfortable.  It doesn't always mean doing some heroic feat but just getting up each day and showing up.  

When ALL You Can Do Is Pray

Many times when I have prayed for myself or others, I have caught myself saying “All I can do is pray”. In reality praying is the MOST we can do!

We must never underestimate the power of prayer. I’m not talking about the “thoughts and prayers” type of prayers, I mean when we truly pray.

The problem we have with prayer sometimes is that we think it is a means of getting what we want. Obviously we pray earnestly for our needs but ultimately the results depend on God. His will and His timing. We cannot manipulate God to get what we want.

I often feel like my prayers lack the power and effectiveness that others seem to experience. I never have these supernatural results. I struggle with doubt in how I am praying and searching for the words to use. We falsely assume there are some magical abracadabra words that will make things happen.

The Bible says that the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man gets it done. (James 5:16) I am good with the effectual and fervent part but I don't think I am righteous enough to feel confident enough to feel that I am availing much.

Regardless, I continue to pray. I have been around long enough to know that regardless of how I feel, I must not give up on prayer. We still ask, seek and knock on the door. If that’s ALL we can do then we should give it our ALL. It’s not the words that we use or don’t use but the condition of our spirit and our heart.

I have tried to have the mindset to pray until something changes. Just pray and leave the results to God. I don’t want to just pray a list but have a relationship with God so that I feel the prayer, not just speak it.

Prayer is vitally important. We must put forth our best effort. I may not do it right or like the religious people do but I just do it. It is ALL that I can do.

Thoughts about Overthinking

Hello, my name is Milton.

I am an overthinker.

If there were a support group for overthinkers, I would probably be in it.  I might be the leader of the group.

I tend to overthink. You just have no idea.

This is what causes me my most stress. The simple act of going somewhere immediately causes my mind to jump into action. I immediately think of the best route to get there, what the parking situation is and anything else that may or may not happen. While others can simply jump in the car and go, I cannot. I must think of EVERY scenario.  All of this happens without much of a thought. My brain automatically shifts to auto pilot to overthink it.

It’s a curse. I certainly need help. I truly can’t enjoy things without creating this mental work for myself.

I recently came across an Instagram post which obviously knows me well enough to pop into my reel. It was actually some good insight to those of us who belong to overthinkers anonymous.

• Overthinkers don’t just hear words - they analyze tone, timing and hidden meaning behind them.
• Their brain keeps replaying old situations, searching for mistakes that didn’t even matter.
• They often prepare for problems that may never happen because their mind is always expecting “what if”.
• Overthinkers usually look calm in public while fighting thousands of thoughts privately.
• The smallest change in someone’s behavior can make them question the entire relationship.
• Most overthinkers are caring people, but caring too much can become mentally exhausting.

There is definitely a lot going on in our minds. I know that a tone in someone’s voice can send me into overthinking mode instantly. It doesn’t take much since I have had years of experience.

Live in the moment.

That seems like a small statement but this is something we should do. Don’t think about it, just be in the moment. As much as we try, we will never be ready for every scenario. We can’t cover them all.

As difficult as it is, I am going to try to do better and not overthink things too much. Just let it be.

Overthinking often stems from trying to figure everything out on our own. Proverbs counsels to submit our thoughts to God and trust His direction.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The Apostle Paul also told us to take our thoughts captive to prevent any negative thoughts from causing us to spiral out of control.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." – 2 Corinthians 10:5

Easier said than done right?  All we can do is try to not overthink it.  It takes practice.  

Thoughts about the New York Knicks

The New York Knicks claimed the National Basketball Association (NBA) a few days ago for their first championship since 1973.  It was fun watching how charged up this city was during the playoffs and championship run.  It was exciting.  The feeling was electric.

This is the first time I have lived in a city that has won a professional sports championship.  The closest was have been before was in 2017 when the Nashville Predators played in the Stanley Cup final in the National Hockey League (NHL).  

It's fun when you are winning.

The Knicks certainly overcame the odds to win, especially a 29-point comeback in Game #4 to take the lead in the series when the San Antonio Spurs almost had the series tied up.

I can't say that I'm a Knicks fan.  I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon when they just won the title.  That would be rude.

Over the past several years, I haven't been a fan of any NBA team.  I grew up as a fan of the Atlanta Hawks but after so many heartbreaking disappointments my interest finally grew cold.   I endured many Boston Celtics-LA Lakers finals and also grew tired of watching during the Chicago Bulls dynasty.

I'm genuinely happy for Knicks fans.  They endured many disappointing seasons and heartbreaking losses.  It's nice to see them enjoy having a championship season.

The parade is scheduled for Thursday.  We won't be going but it will be fun to watch.  

 

Rideshare Experiences in NYC

When I first thought of writing this blog, I had thought I would be blasting the rideshare companies with a blanket conclusion. 

Fortunately it hasn’t been as bad lately but it has taken a while to get here. 

Let me just state this in the beginning. This is New York City.  They drive crazy here. It’s like nowhere else and that isn’t a compliment. So why would I expect rideshare drivers to be any different?

Over the past three months, we have had to go into the city three times a weekend for medical appointments.  The only viable option was to use rideshare services to get to and from the appointments.  Medical issues made it too risky to take the subway. 

When we started, we used Lyft.  Nearly every drive seemed to be intent on driving as fast as they possibly could.  It was the fast and the furious on 99% of the rides.  Many ignored our requests to slow down and to be mindful of the medical issues of their passenger.  One even laughed.  Most could barely understand English.  After several bad experiences, we thought that paying for an higher level ride and getting bigger vehicles would make the rides less stressful and chaotic.  It did not.  Lyft is a joke.  Their comfort level service is a ripoff.  Drivers get around the requirements by making their vehicles to appear to qualify as higher level vehicles.  One thing they do to qualify for more legroom is to slide the front passenger seat all the way forward.  

We abandoned Lyft and decided to try their competition.  

Uber was an improvement but we still had issues in communicating with drivers about our unique situation and medical issues.  We decided to try their upper level Uber Black service. We also began including a note requesting a particular route to avoid the highway and the medical issue which requires them to drive calmly.  Apparently this had worked better.  It seems the note before the driver arrives translate it so they can understand.  It has been better and drivers have been more attentive to how they are driving.  

The other service we have tried is Blacklane.  Blacklane is a chauffeur service. Very high end and expensive.  I surprised my wife with this one day.  It was the best service but it also cost as much as two Uber Black rides. I would choose Blacklane all the time if we could afford it.  

Honestly, the most stressful part of our trips to the hospital have been the rides.  This is ridiculous and it is sad we have had to pay more to get rides that safely accommodate someone with medical issues. The rides to/from medical appointments shouldn't even be a thought compared to the appointment itself.

In case you wondered - no, insurance does not pay for these rides.  There are also other services that transport people to medical appointments are unfriendly and unreliable. Do you want to put up with that kind of service with a bunch of other sick people around you? You would think someone would offer a service to provide safe and stress free transportation for patients. At least give a discount if the trip is for medical reasons.

Yes, I have reached out to the rideshare companies but have received no response.

Best rideshare experience:  Blacklane

Worst rideshare experience:  Lyft Comfort

Biggest problem:  Language/communication 

You may also wonder why I wouldn't just drive us. Are you kidding me? By the time you add up gas, parking, congestion fees and tolls, it would cost about as much. Not to mention the added stress of driving.

For now, we are going to continue using Uber Black service.

 

Can Prayer Really Change Things?

I have heard the claim made that “prayer changes things”. While that cliche sounds good and can be motivation in prayer, it isn’t a guarantee. Sometimes prayer doesn’t change things. In fact, sometimes things get worse.

I don’t know how I can deal with that.

So can we change God’s mind?

There are several examples in the Bible when prayer changed God’s mind.

Moses and the Golden Calf (Exodus 32:7-14)
After the Israelites created a golden calf to worship, God’s anger burned hot, and He intended to destroy them and start over with Moses. Moses pleaded with God to remember His covenant promises and spare the people. Consequently, the text states that the Lord "changed His mind" and withheld the threatened destruction.

Hezekiah’s Extended Life (2 Kings 20:1-6)
The prophet Isaiah told King Hezekiah to get his affairs in order because he was terminally ill and would die. Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed with bitter weeping, asking God to remember his faithfulness. Before Isaiah had even left the courtyard, God sent him back to tell Hezekiah that He had heard his prayers, seen his tears, and would add 15 years to his life.

Abraham and Sodom (Genesis 18:22-33)
God revealed His plan to judge the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for their extreme wickedness. Abraham interceded, persistently negotiating with God to spare the cities if a certain number of righteous people could be found. God agreed to lower the threshold of righteous individuals with each prayer from Abraham, ultimately agreeing to spare the region for just 10 righteous people.

The Repentance of Nineveh (Jonah 3:10)
God told the prophet Jonah to warn the wicked city of Nineveh that it would be overthrown in 40 days. The king and the people of Nineveh responded by repenting, fasting, and praying. Seeing their change of heart, God "relented" (or changed His intended course of action) and did not bring the destruction upon them.

David and the Plague (2 Samuel 24:10-25)
After King David sinned by holding an illegal census, God sent a plague upon Israel. Following David’s deep repentance and prayers for mercy, coupled with his obedience in building an altar and offering sacrifices, God "relented" and stopped the plague before it reached Jerusalem.

Yes, the Bible teaches that prayer changes things. Throughout Scripture, God invites people to bring their requests to Him, promising that He hears them and responds. Prayer is portrayed not merely as a ritual, but as an active conversation that influences circumstances, brings healing, and shifts the course of events.

The concept that prayer has a direct impact on outcomes is supported by several key biblical principles:

Prayer impacts circumstances: In ⁠James 5:16, it says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." The Bible also provides stories of prayer changing situations, such as when Moses interceded for the Israelites and God relented from a planned disaster (Exodus 32:14).

Asking brings results: Jesus encouraged His followers to ask, seek, and knock, assuring them that their Heavenly Father will give good gifts to those who ask Him (Matthew 7:7-11).

Prayer changes hearts and minds: Often, the "change" that happens through prayer is in the perspective of the person praying or in the wills of the people involved. Through prayer, God grants peace and aligns human desires with His perfect will (Philippians 4:6-7).

Aligned with God's will: The effectiveness of prayer is tied to God's ultimate purposes. Believers are encouraged to pray according to His will (1 John 5:14-15), trusting that a sovereign God uses prayer to accomplish His goals and bring about what is good.

While there are times that prayer doesn't change things, we can't give up trying to do what we know we can do.  We may not control the ultimate results but we can appeal to a loving God that will hear us.  We are supposed to bring our concerns to Him and share our heart with Him.  If prayer is the only thing we can do, we have actually done everything that we can do.

When You Need A Miracle

We pray for miracles. We wait - many times impatiently - for our prayers to be answered. We are painfully aware that sometimes the miracle doesn't come.

I believe in miracles. I believe in praying for miracles. Many people don't.

I'm in a place right now that I am waiting for the miracle. It's a whole lot easier to believe in miracles when you don't need one.

I have heard the sermons about healing, stories of miracles and claims people make about God answering prayers. Believing is hard especially when you are in the place where you can't see it. I don't see it. Honestly my belief is being put to the test. Will my God deliver? Am I believing foolishly in a miracle?

I have come to understand that I have absolutely no control over this. I can't make God do a darn thing. I can't make any deals or manipulate Him into answering my prayers in the way I want them to be answered.

Do I even know HOW to pray? I will be honest and say I have had that question in my head. All of my years in church and believing, am I even praying right?

In addition to that...I also ask the question: Who am I? I am a nobody in this world of billions of people. Why would God hear my prayers? I'm not anybody special. I'm not a preacher or any spiritual leader in anything.

I'm just floundering a bit right now. I'm worried the miracle won't come. It's hard to stay positive when others around you don't believe.

God can do whatever He wants to do however He wants to do it. So this is where we are. What does God what to do here? I can only do what I can do and just leave the rest up to God.

I find myself praying and pleading with God but does it matter? Has the ending already been decided whether I pray or not. It is a difficult place when you are standing in the fiery furnace of your life.

As painful as it is for me, I have to release the need for control. I have to acknowledge my human limitations and knowing that I can't script the outcome. It is completely normal to struggle with God's will when it conflicts with your own hopes.

When we are in the place where we need a miracle, we have to try to find that resolve that God knows what He is doing even if we don't agree. It's not an easy place to be in but we can only do what we can do and leave the results to Him.

 

Thoughts about Living in New York

It has been over a year now that my wife and I decided to move to New York. If I am totally honest, I did not want to move here when the idea was formed shortly after the last presidential election. I eventually warmed up to the move and now we are here.

I am okay with it.

Do I love it? I wouldn't say that but I do think this is the best places I have lived so far.

After living most of my life in the South, this move was an adjustment for me. My Southern accent gives me away many times.

Speaking of accent...One of the biggest things that surprised me has been the problems with communicating. English is not the default language here. There are many ethnic groups here who speak their native languages and many times that has been difficult to navigate. Just because someone says they understand English doesn't necessary mean they do. It's not like living in a foreign country but living in many countries in one place. While communicating can be a challenge at times, I just do my best and try to have more patience.

Living in New York is a bit extra. What I mean by that is anything you do requires just an extra bit of aggravation getting it done. I have had to just simply expect something to be a hassle. I don't like it but I just know it will be something extra to deal with.

It's very chaotic here but there is also a lot to do and so many places to explore in the city and on Long Island. We have already done a lot but there is so much more to see and do. One of the things you can expect about living here is that there will be a LOT of people so you have to expect crowds especially if it is a special event. Even the most obscure thing can create lengthy lines and draw large crowds.

New York is also the most expensive place we have lived. We knew this before we moved but I can tell you that this is also more than you expect. Renting is crazy. We are paying double for rent for what we did for our house mortgage in Tennessee. They also tax you like crazy here. Not only do we pay state tax but there is also a city tax. That last one dinged me at tax time. Fortunately when we renewed our lease, the landlord only went up $50 per month but I'm still not sure what we are going to do in near future.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear...I absolutely HATE driving here. You have never experienced driving like here. This is the worst driving I have seen anywhere. People will do anything at anytime just to take a shortcut or just simply being impatient. They also honk their horns a lot more here than anywhere else I have been. I hate driving here and refuse to drive into the city. It’s bad but you really don’t have to drive. I always dread when I have to drive here and I have refused to drive in the city.

Fortunately I don't have to drive because we have many other options with the subway, train, bus, taxi and rideshare that is available. They all have their pros and cons as well. Once you learn how to navigate the subways, it is one of the best options to get around. Riding the subway costs $3.00 but people still jump the turnstiles to avoid paying. Yes...for THREE dollars. That's probably the downside for riding the subway. You will experience anything. We have encountered some crazies at times. The city isn't clearly doing enough there.

We have done a lot of walking here. Although there are subways, there are many times we have still had to do a lot of walking to get to places in between. Walking in New York is an experience too. The main thing about walking that annoys me is people not walking on the right side. They will walk right into you or over you. No one gets out of the way so you have to just adapt and navigate yourself when you are walking the sidewalks here. You've heard of road rage? Well, you can definitely get "walking rage" here.

Yes, living in New York is a lot. You have to have the mindset about living here and the expectations. It's not a calm life. Will we stay here? Probably not. We simply won't be able to afford to live here for the long term but we are enjoying it while we can. Where will we go next? I don't really know.

If I had advice for anyone considering a move to New York City:

Cons

• Living here is not the same as visiting here as a tourist
• It is going to be more expensive than you think
• LOTS of people everywhere all the time
• Different languages are spoken here. Communication can be a problem.

Pros

• There is a lot to do here.
• You don't have to drive. There are many other options to get to where you need to be.
• It is a unique experience and adventure
• There are beaches within an hour

#62

 

Start the parade.  I am 62 today.

Yep.  I am now officially eligible to draw social security.  Wow.  What a milestone right?  Although I am not going to start drawing on it yet, it is quite strange to know that I could.  I still remember when I was eager to get my driver's license, graduating from high school and other milestones in my life.  

Now I am here.

It has been quite a life so far.  I am in a good place now although I never dreamed I would be where I am today.  Life takes many twists and turns along the way.  We make decisions which affect our lives.  Some good.  Some bad.  It all works together to where we are today.

When I reflect on my 62 years I see the mistakes I have made and the regrets I have but I also see the amazing things I have experienced in my life.  I have met some good people and I have suffered from the terrible people.  The difficult people have definitely taught me lessons.  I have learned that having the right people in your life makes all the difference.  If there is one life lesson I could tell you is that make sure you are surrounded by good people.  We waste too much time with unnecessary drama that some people bring into our lives.  Also, even if they are family it doesn't mean you have to have them in your lives either.  Being related to someone doesn't obligate you to have a relationship with them. 

Another wisdom to share is to find the right person to spend your life with and for the right reasons.  When we are young and in love we have these ideals of what it means but you want to marry the person who will love you regardless of your looks, money or any material possessions.  You need the person who will love YOU.  Too many young people fall in love for looks, sex and passion but there comes a time when all that fades away so you need to have a relationship that isn't based on that.  Believe me, as I sit here as a 62 year-old man, I don't look or feel the same as I did when I was 18.  This is part of life and I wouldn't want anyone who only loved the outside of me.

At 62 I am still working.  I did retire from a previous job but the reality is that a retirement annuity isn't enough to live on.  I figure I will be working until I get to the point where I can't anymore.  Fortunately I am still able and have been successful in my jobs.  I feel like I am at a good place right now.  

You have to appreciate your life.  I wasted too many years sad and unhappy until I made some life changing decisions many years ago to decide to be happy and stop worrying about the unfulfilled expectations of others to be happy.  We only have one life to live so we need to make our lives the best that we can make it.  We don't have to be miserable and we don't have to chase the approval of others.  

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." — Abraham Lincoln

When You Feel Alone

Have you ever felt like you were going through something alone? You didn’t feel like anyone understood?

We have felt this way at some point in our lives.

There are even times when we wonder if even God is with us during the dark times we walk through.

There are many examples in the Bible of people who felt alone but learned otherwise.

• Elijah: After his victory on Mount Carmel, Elijah fled from Jezebel, felt he was the only faithful person left, and sat alone in a cave, wishing to die.
• David: Despite being king, David described himself as "lonely and afflicted" while fleeing enemies (Psalm 25:16) and was betrayed by his own son, Absalom.
• Job: While surrounded by comforters who misunderstood him, Job felt alone in his suffering and felt God was not answering his cries (Job 30:20).
• Jesus: Experienced the deepest isolation—40 days in the desert (temptation), in the Garden of Gethsemane (loneliness in prayer), and crying out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).
• Moses: Felt isolated while fleeing to the desert and leading a complaining nation.
• Jeremiah: Known as the "weeping prophet," he sat alone because of the intensity of God's message (Jeremiah 15:17).
• Hagar: Wandered alone in the wilderness of Beersheba, feeling abandoned (Genesis 21:14).
• Paul: Suffered loneliness in his ministry, particularly when he was abandoned during his trials.

The important thing to note about all of these people is that didn’t have a cheering section or praise team getting them through it. They didn’t have friends posting praying hands in their Facebook comments.

With God you have the majority.

Romans 8:31 tells us that “…if God is for us, who can be against us.”

Being a friend of God is more powerful and effective than 100 people who offer their “thoughts and prayers”. While some might be sincere, no one is in the fire with you in the same way that God is. 

We may feel alone but we are not.

"When you feel alone, May the stars remind you how God lightens up the darkest moments."

Encouragement during Crisis

This week at a moment when I needed encouraging words I got this: 

If it have a start it will have an end, stay strong and keep pushing.

It set me back a bit because I don’t want this current situation to end badly. I’m not sure these words were as comforting as they were meant to be. I have come to the conclusion that I just need to survive this without a need for comforting words.

People are more excited to pray for a need when it is fresh and new but if it lingers and there is no miracle people get bored. Unfortunately when it affects you directly, you have to push through it every day whether the miracle comes or not.

God can deliver regardless.

There is a story in the Old Testament where David’s own men turned on him and wanted to stone him when things were looking bad.

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. (1 Samuel 30:6)

David proactively drew strength from his relationship with God, recalling past victories and seeking divine guidance. David did not wait for encouragement but immediately sought God through prayer.

When can’t always rely on encouragement from others or expect others to have magical words of comfort. It is our personal responsibility to maintain our spiritual resilience to preserve even when surrounded by crisis.