Being Brave While Being Scared

"Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared."

I heard this quote in a movie last week. This is very timely and appropriate for my life right now.

I have many moments over the past four months when I have been scared but I have had to push through it. I haven’t felt very brave. I have had to face everyday being scared. It hasn’t been an easy road.

We don’t always have a choice about being brave. We don’t normally choose to run into things that scare us. It is our tendency to avoid anything which causes us pain.

Being brave means that you face each moment. You fight the battles as they come. When your days and weeks are a roller coaster of emotions, you simply do your best to hang on and ride it out.

I am one that believes in God. My faith has been tested. I have been strong at times but most of the time I have barely had enough to force out a prayer. Tough times wear you down. You learn that you can’t depend on others to help you. Their priority is not what you are going through. You do it alone. You trust God that it will end well.

Sometimes you have no choice but to be brave. I’m not expecting any medals. I just want to get through this.

These times change you. Sometimes for the better and sometimes it wounds your spirit. This time has challenged my faith. I will never be the same after this.

I wake up every day scared in anticipation of what the day will bring. I hope for the good but brace myself for the worst. I try to listen to God’s voice but at times it has been drowned out by voices of fear. Maybe I’m not so brave. I’m no spiritual giant. I’m just Milton. A product of two generations of preachers. A pedigree which means nothing right now.

My life is consumed with test results and trust in medical science. My so-called bravery is in waiting and trusting the process. Being brave is not the absence of fear, but choosing to take action and move forward despite feeling afraid or uncomfortable.  It doesn't always mean doing some heroic feat but just getting up each day and showing up.  

When ALL You Can Do Is Pray

Many times when I have prayed for myself or others, I have caught myself saying “All I can do is pray”. In reality praying is the MOST we can do!

We must never underestimate the power of prayer. I’m not talking about the “thoughts and prayers” type of prayers, I mean when we truly pray.

The problem we have with prayer sometimes is that we think it is a means of getting what we want. Obviously we pray earnestly for our needs but ultimately the results depend on God. His will and His timing. We cannot manipulate God to get what we want.

I often feel like my prayers lack the power and effectiveness that others seem to experience. I never have these supernatural results. I struggle with doubt in how I am praying and searching for the words to use. We falsely assume there are some magical abracadabra words that will make things happen.

The Bible says that the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man gets it done. (James 5:16) I am good with the effectual and fervent part but I don't think I am righteous enough to feel confident enough to feel that I am availing much.

Regardless, I continue to pray. I have been around long enough to know that regardless of how I feel, I must not give up on prayer. We still ask, seek and knock on the door. If that’s ALL we can do then we should give it our ALL. It’s not the words that we use or don’t use but the condition of our spirit and our heart.

I have tried to have the mindset to pray until something changes. Just pray and leave the results to God. I don’t want to just pray a list but have a relationship with God so that I feel the prayer, not just speak it.

Prayer is vitally important. We must put forth our best effort. I may not do it right or like the religious people do but I just do it. It is ALL that I can do.

Thoughts about Overthinking

Hello, my name is Milton.

I am an overthinker.

If there were a support group for overthinkers, I would probably be in it.  I might be the leader of the group.

I tend to overthink. You just have no idea.

This is what causes me my most stress. The simple act of going somewhere immediately causes my mind to jump into action. I immediately think of the best route to get there, what the parking situation is and anything else that may or may not happen. While others can simply jump in the car and go, I cannot. I must think of EVERY scenario.  All of this happens without much of a thought. My brain automatically shifts to auto pilot to overthink it.

It’s a curse. I certainly need help. I truly can’t enjoy things without creating this mental work for myself.

I recently came across an Instagram post which obviously knows me well enough to pop into my reel. It was actually some good insight to those of us who belong to overthinkers anonymous.

• Overthinkers don’t just hear words - they analyze tone, timing and hidden meaning behind them.
• Their brain keeps replaying old situations, searching for mistakes that didn’t even matter.
• They often prepare for problems that may never happen because their mind is always expecting “what if”.
• Overthinkers usually look calm in public while fighting thousands of thoughts privately.
• The smallest change in someone’s behavior can make them question the entire relationship.
• Most overthinkers are caring people, but caring too much can become mentally exhausting.

There is definitely a lot going on in our minds. I know that a tone in someone’s voice can send me into overthinking mode instantly. It doesn’t take much since I have had years of experience.

Live in the moment.

That seems like a small statement but this is something we should do. Don’t think about it, just be in the moment. As much as we try, we will never be ready for every scenario. We can’t cover them all.

As difficult as it is, I am going to try to do better and not overthink things too much. Just let it be.

Overthinking often stems from trying to figure everything out on our own. Proverbs counsels to submit our thoughts to God and trust His direction.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

The Apostle Paul also told us to take our thoughts captive to prevent any negative thoughts from causing us to spiral out of control.

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." – 2 Corinthians 10:5

Easier said than done right?  All we can do is try to not overthink it.  It takes practice.  

Thoughts about the New York Knicks

The New York Knicks claimed the National Basketball Association (NBA) a few days ago for their first championship since 1973.  It was fun watching how charged up this city was during the playoffs and championship run.  It was exciting.  The feeling was electric.

This is the first time I have lived in a city that has won a professional sports championship.  The closest was have been before was in 2017 when the Nashville Predators played in the Stanley Cup final in the National Hockey League (NHL).  

It's fun when you are winning.

The Knicks certainly overcame the odds to win, especially a 29-point comeback in Game #4 to take the lead in the series when the San Antonio Spurs almost had the series tied up.

I can't say that I'm a Knicks fan.  I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon when they just won the title.  That would be rude.

Over the past several years, I haven't been a fan of any NBA team.  I grew up as a fan of the Atlanta Hawks but after so many heartbreaking disappointments my interest finally grew cold.   I endured many Boston Celtics-LA Lakers finals and also grew tired of watching during the Chicago Bulls dynasty.

I'm genuinely happy for Knicks fans.  They endured many disappointing seasons and heartbreaking losses.  It's nice to see them enjoy having a championship season.

The parade is scheduled for Thursday.  We won't be going but it will be fun to watch.  

 

Rideshare Experiences in NYC

When I first thought of writing this blog, I had thought I would be blasting the rideshare companies with a blanket conclusion. 

Fortunately it hasn’t been as bad lately but it has taken a while to get here. 

Let me just state this in the beginning. This is New York City.  They drive crazy here. It’s like nowhere else and that isn’t a compliment. So why would I expect rideshare drivers to be any different?

Over the past three months, we have had to go into the city three times a weekend for medical appointments.  The only viable option was to use rideshare services to get to and from the appointments.  Medical issues made it too risky to take the subway. 

When we started, we used Lyft.  Nearly every drive seemed to be intent on driving as fast as they possibly could.  It was the fast and the furious on 99% of the rides.  Many ignored our requests to slow down and to be mindful of the medical issues of their passenger.  One even laughed.  Most could barely understand English.  After several bad experiences, we thought that paying for an higher level ride and getting bigger vehicles would make the rides less stressful and chaotic.  It did not.  Lyft is a joke.  Their comfort level service is a ripoff.  Drivers get around the requirements by making their vehicles to appear to qualify as higher level vehicles.  One thing they do to qualify for more legroom is to slide the front passenger seat all the way forward.  

We abandoned Lyft and decided to try their competition.  

Uber was an improvement but we still had issues in communicating with drivers about our unique situation and medical issues.  We decided to try their upper level Uber Black service. We also began including a note requesting a particular route to avoid the highway and the medical issue which requires them to drive calmly.  Apparently this had worked better.  It seems the note before the driver arrives translate it so they can understand.  It has been better and drivers have been more attentive to how they are driving.  

The other service we have tried is Blacklane.  Blacklane is a chauffeur service. Very high end and expensive.  I surprised my wife with this one day.  It was the best service but it also cost as much as two Uber Black rides. I would choose Blacklane all the time if we could afford it.  

Honestly, the most stressful part of our trips to the hospital have been the rides.  This is ridiculous and it is sad we have had to pay more to get rides that safely accommodate someone with medical issues. The rides to/from medical appointments shouldn't even be a thought compared to the appointment itself.

In case you wondered - no, insurance does not pay for these rides.  There are also other services that transport people to medical appointments are unfriendly and unreliable. Do you want to put up with that kind of service with a bunch of other sick people around you? You would think someone would offer a service to provide safe and stress free transportation for patients. At least give a discount if the trip is for medical reasons.

Yes, I have reached out to the rideshare companies but have received no response.

Best rideshare experience:  Blacklane

Worst rideshare experience:  Lyft Comfort

Biggest problem:  Language/communication 

You may also wonder why I wouldn't just drive us. Are you kidding me? By the time you add up gas, parking, congestion fees and tolls, it would cost about as much. Not to mention the added stress of driving.

For now, we are going to continue using Uber Black service.

 

Can Prayer Really Change Things?

I have heard the claim made that “prayer changes things”. While that cliche sounds good and can be motivation in prayer, it isn’t a guarantee. Sometimes prayer doesn’t change things. In fact, sometimes things get worse.

I don’t know how I can deal with that.

So can we change God’s mind?

There are several examples in the Bible when prayer changed God’s mind.

Moses and the Golden Calf (Exodus 32:7-14)
After the Israelites created a golden calf to worship, God’s anger burned hot, and He intended to destroy them and start over with Moses. Moses pleaded with God to remember His covenant promises and spare the people. Consequently, the text states that the Lord "changed His mind" and withheld the threatened destruction.

Hezekiah’s Extended Life (2 Kings 20:1-6)
The prophet Isaiah told King Hezekiah to get his affairs in order because he was terminally ill and would die. Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed with bitter weeping, asking God to remember his faithfulness. Before Isaiah had even left the courtyard, God sent him back to tell Hezekiah that He had heard his prayers, seen his tears, and would add 15 years to his life.

Abraham and Sodom (Genesis 18:22-33)
God revealed His plan to judge the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah for their extreme wickedness. Abraham interceded, persistently negotiating with God to spare the cities if a certain number of righteous people could be found. God agreed to lower the threshold of righteous individuals with each prayer from Abraham, ultimately agreeing to spare the region for just 10 righteous people.

The Repentance of Nineveh (Jonah 3:10)
God told the prophet Jonah to warn the wicked city of Nineveh that it would be overthrown in 40 days. The king and the people of Nineveh responded by repenting, fasting, and praying. Seeing their change of heart, God "relented" (or changed His intended course of action) and did not bring the destruction upon them.

David and the Plague (2 Samuel 24:10-25)
After King David sinned by holding an illegal census, God sent a plague upon Israel. Following David’s deep repentance and prayers for mercy, coupled with his obedience in building an altar and offering sacrifices, God "relented" and stopped the plague before it reached Jerusalem.

Yes, the Bible teaches that prayer changes things. Throughout Scripture, God invites people to bring their requests to Him, promising that He hears them and responds. Prayer is portrayed not merely as a ritual, but as an active conversation that influences circumstances, brings healing, and shifts the course of events.

The concept that prayer has a direct impact on outcomes is supported by several key biblical principles:

Prayer impacts circumstances: In ⁠James 5:16, it says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." The Bible also provides stories of prayer changing situations, such as when Moses interceded for the Israelites and God relented from a planned disaster (Exodus 32:14).

Asking brings results: Jesus encouraged His followers to ask, seek, and knock, assuring them that their Heavenly Father will give good gifts to those who ask Him (Matthew 7:7-11).

Prayer changes hearts and minds: Often, the "change" that happens through prayer is in the perspective of the person praying or in the wills of the people involved. Through prayer, God grants peace and aligns human desires with His perfect will (Philippians 4:6-7).

Aligned with God's will: The effectiveness of prayer is tied to God's ultimate purposes. Believers are encouraged to pray according to His will (1 John 5:14-15), trusting that a sovereign God uses prayer to accomplish His goals and bring about what is good.

While there are times that prayer doesn't change things, we can't give up trying to do what we know we can do.  We may not control the ultimate results but we can appeal to a loving God that will hear us.  We are supposed to bring our concerns to Him and share our heart with Him.  If prayer is the only thing we can do, we have actually done everything that we can do.

When You Need A Miracle

We pray for miracles. We wait - many times impatiently - for our prayers to be answered. We are painfully aware that sometimes the miracle doesn't come.

I believe in miracles. I believe in praying for miracles. Many people don't.

I'm in a place right now that I am waiting for the miracle. It's a whole lot easier to believe in miracles when you don't need one.

I have heard the sermons about healing, stories of miracles and claims people make about God answering prayers. Believing is hard especially when you are in the place where you can't see it. I don't see it. Honestly my belief is being put to the test. Will my God deliver? Am I believing foolishly in a miracle?

I have come to understand that I have absolutely no control over this. I can't make God do a darn thing. I can't make any deals or manipulate Him into answering my prayers in the way I want them to be answered.

Do I even know HOW to pray? I will be honest and say I have had that question in my head. All of my years in church and believing, am I even praying right?

In addition to that...I also ask the question: Who am I? I am a nobody in this world of billions of people. Why would God hear my prayers? I'm not anybody special. I'm not a preacher or any spiritual leader in anything.

I'm just floundering a bit right now. I'm worried the miracle won't come. It's hard to stay positive when others around you don't believe.

God can do whatever He wants to do however He wants to do it. So this is where we are. What does God what to do here? I can only do what I can do and just leave the rest up to God.

I find myself praying and pleading with God but does it matter? Has the ending already been decided whether I pray or not. It is a difficult place when you are standing in the fiery furnace of your life.

As painful as it is for me, I have to release the need for control. I have to acknowledge my human limitations and knowing that I can't script the outcome. It is completely normal to struggle with God's will when it conflicts with your own hopes.

When we are in the place where we need a miracle, we have to try to find that resolve that God knows what He is doing even if we don't agree. It's not an easy place to be in but we can only do what we can do and leave the results to Him.

 

Thoughts about Living in New York

It has been over a year now that my wife and I decided to move to New York. If I am totally honest, I did not want to move here when the idea was formed shortly after the last presidential election. I eventually warmed up to the move and now we are here.

I am okay with it.

Do I love it? I wouldn't say that but I do think this is the best places I have lived so far.

After living most of my life in the South, this move was an adjustment for me. My Southern accent gives me away many times.

Speaking of accent...One of the biggest things that surprised me has been the problems with communicating. English is not the default language here. There are many ethnic groups here who speak their native languages and many times that has been difficult to navigate. Just because someone says they understand English doesn't necessary mean they do. It's not like living in a foreign country but living in many countries in one place. While communicating can be a challenge at times, I just do my best and try to have more patience.

Living in New York is a bit extra. What I mean by that is anything you do requires just an extra bit of aggravation getting it done. I have had to just simply expect something to be a hassle. I don't like it but I just know it will be something extra to deal with.

It's very chaotic here but there is also a lot to do and so many places to explore in the city and on Long Island. We have already done a lot but there is so much more to see and do. One of the things you can expect about living here is that there will be a LOT of people so you have to expect crowds especially if it is a special event. Even the most obscure thing can create lengthy lines and draw large crowds.

New York is also the most expensive place we have lived. We knew this before we moved but I can tell you that this is also more than you expect. Renting is crazy. We are paying double for rent for what we did for our house mortgage in Tennessee. They also tax you like crazy here. Not only do we pay state tax but there is also a city tax. That last one dinged me at tax time. Fortunately when we renewed our lease, the landlord only went up $50 per month but I'm still not sure what we are going to do in near future.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear...I absolutely HATE driving here. You have never experienced driving like here. This is the worst driving I have seen anywhere. People will do anything at anytime just to take a shortcut or just simply being impatient. They also honk their horns a lot more here than anywhere else I have been. I hate driving here and refuse to drive into the city. It’s bad but you really don’t have to drive. I always dread when I have to drive here and I have refused to drive in the city.

Fortunately I don't have to drive because we have many other options with the subway, train, bus, taxi and rideshare that is available. They all have their pros and cons as well. Once you learn how to navigate the subways, it is one of the best options to get around. Riding the subway costs $3.00 but people still jump the turnstiles to avoid paying. Yes...for THREE dollars. That's probably the downside for riding the subway. You will experience anything. We have encountered some crazies at times. The city isn't clearly doing enough there.

We have done a lot of walking here. Although there are subways, there are many times we have still had to do a lot of walking to get to places in between. Walking in New York is an experience too. The main thing about walking that annoys me is people not walking on the right side. They will walk right into you or over you. No one gets out of the way so you have to just adapt and navigate yourself when you are walking the sidewalks here. You've heard of road rage? Well, you can definitely get "walking rage" here.

Yes, living in New York is a lot. You have to have the mindset about living here and the expectations. It's not a calm life. Will we stay here? Probably not. We simply won't be able to afford to live here for the long term but we are enjoying it while we can. Where will we go next? I don't really know.

If I had advice for anyone considering a move to New York City:

Cons

• Living here is not the same as visiting here as a tourist
• It is going to be more expensive than you think
• LOTS of people everywhere all the time
• Different languages are spoken here. Communication can be a problem.

Pros

• There is a lot to do here.
• You don't have to drive. There are many other options to get to where you need to be.
• It is a unique experience and adventure
• There are beaches within an hour

#62

 

Start the parade.  I am 62 today.

Yep.  I am now officially eligible to draw social security.  Wow.  What a milestone right?  Although I am not going to start drawing on it yet, it is quite strange to know that I could.  I still remember when I was eager to get my driver's license, graduating from high school and other milestones in my life.  

Now I am here.

It has been quite a life so far.  I am in a good place now although I never dreamed I would be where I am today.  Life takes many twists and turns along the way.  We make decisions which affect our lives.  Some good.  Some bad.  It all works together to where we are today.

When I reflect on my 62 years I see the mistakes I have made and the regrets I have but I also see the amazing things I have experienced in my life.  I have met some good people and I have suffered from the terrible people.  The difficult people have definitely taught me lessons.  I have learned that having the right people in your life makes all the difference.  If there is one life lesson I could tell you is that make sure you are surrounded by good people.  We waste too much time with unnecessary drama that some people bring into our lives.  Also, even if they are family it doesn't mean you have to have them in your lives either.  Being related to someone doesn't obligate you to have a relationship with them. 

Another wisdom to share is to find the right person to spend your life with and for the right reasons.  When we are young and in love we have these ideals of what it means but you want to marry the person who will love you regardless of your looks, money or any material possessions.  You need the person who will love YOU.  Too many young people fall in love for looks, sex and passion but there comes a time when all that fades away so you need to have a relationship that isn't based on that.  Believe me, as I sit here as a 62 year-old man, I don't look or feel the same as I did when I was 18.  This is part of life and I wouldn't want anyone who only loved the outside of me.

At 62 I am still working.  I did retire from a previous job but the reality is that a retirement annuity isn't enough to live on.  I figure I will be working until I get to the point where I can't anymore.  Fortunately I am still able and have been successful in my jobs.  I feel like I am at a good place right now.  

You have to appreciate your life.  I wasted too many years sad and unhappy until I made some life changing decisions many years ago to decide to be happy and stop worrying about the unfulfilled expectations of others to be happy.  We only have one life to live so we need to make our lives the best that we can make it.  We don't have to be miserable and we don't have to chase the approval of others.  

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." — Abraham Lincoln

When You Feel Alone

Have you ever felt like you were going through something alone? You didn’t feel like anyone understood?

We have felt this way at some point in our lives.

There are even times when we wonder if even God is with us during the dark times we walk through.

There are many examples in the Bible of people who felt alone but learned otherwise.

• Elijah: After his victory on Mount Carmel, Elijah fled from Jezebel, felt he was the only faithful person left, and sat alone in a cave, wishing to die.
• David: Despite being king, David described himself as "lonely and afflicted" while fleeing enemies (Psalm 25:16) and was betrayed by his own son, Absalom.
• Job: While surrounded by comforters who misunderstood him, Job felt alone in his suffering and felt God was not answering his cries (Job 30:20).
• Jesus: Experienced the deepest isolation—40 days in the desert (temptation), in the Garden of Gethsemane (loneliness in prayer), and crying out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).
• Moses: Felt isolated while fleeing to the desert and leading a complaining nation.
• Jeremiah: Known as the "weeping prophet," he sat alone because of the intensity of God's message (Jeremiah 15:17).
• Hagar: Wandered alone in the wilderness of Beersheba, feeling abandoned (Genesis 21:14).
• Paul: Suffered loneliness in his ministry, particularly when he was abandoned during his trials.

The important thing to note about all of these people is that didn’t have a cheering section or praise team getting them through it. They didn’t have friends posting praying hands in their Facebook comments.

With God you have the majority.

Romans 8:31 tells us that “…if God is for us, who can be against us.”

Being a friend of God is more powerful and effective than 100 people who offer their “thoughts and prayers”. While some might be sincere, no one is in the fire with you in the same way that God is. 

We may feel alone but we are not.

"When you feel alone, May the stars remind you how God lightens up the darkest moments."

Encouragement during Crisis

This week at a moment when I needed encouraging words I got this: 

If it have a start it will have an end, stay strong and keep pushing.

It set me back a bit because I don’t want this current situation to end badly. I’m not sure these words were as comforting as they were meant to be. I have come to the conclusion that I just need to survive this without a need for comforting words.

People are more excited to pray for a need when it is fresh and new but if it lingers and there is no miracle people get bored. Unfortunately when it affects you directly, you have to push through it every day whether the miracle comes or not.

God can deliver regardless.

There is a story in the Old Testament where David’s own men turned on him and wanted to stone him when things were looking bad.

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. (1 Samuel 30:6)

David proactively drew strength from his relationship with God, recalling past victories and seeking divine guidance. David did not wait for encouragement but immediately sought God through prayer.

When can’t always rely on encouragement from others or expect others to have magical words of comfort. It is our personal responsibility to maintain our spiritual resilience to preserve even when surrounded by crisis.

Tortured by the "What ifs"

I often torture my thoughts with countless “what ifs” that go through my head.  I am one that will overthink anything and everything.  I will rehearse conversations in my head which may or may not happen. It’s a curse.  

The what ifs can ruin your peace. I pray but then my mind still asks the what if question.  

What if God doesn’t answer my prayer?

What if it gets worse instead of getting better?

I spend way too much time trying to figure everything out. It stresses me out. I guess you could say that I stress myself out. 

I have a lot of what ifs going through my head right now in my life. The worst case scenarios are the what ifs that cloud my mind.  My world is chaotic because I ultimately know that I have absolutely no control over what happens.  

I’m sure that I irritate God with my overthinking and attempts to figure things out with my what ifs.  I admit that I have a problem. I need help.  I need to get better at just letting go and accept whatever happens.  It’s hard for me to do that. 

There is a Bible verse that tells us to “cast your cares” but I don’t really know how to do that.  I haven’t put that into much practice.  How can I just simply let my what ifs go and accept what happens?  God is in control regardless of my attempts to overthink it.  

My soul needs rest.  I can’t carry all of this on my shoulders right now. I have to let it go.  There is no way I can be prepared for every scenario in my life.  I need only to live right now and deal with the now and not think about what may happen later.  

The act of casting our cares means that we have to intentionally transfer the responsibility of our what ifs on Christ through prayer and meditation.  We have to allow ourselves to release these things and stop dwelling on them. Doing this is an active decision on our part.  If you are like me you may try and fail but the important thing is to keep trying and practice letting go.  

I don’t like feeling out of control and worried about what might happen.  If I don’t learn to handle this better I am going to burn out and be a total wreck.  I don’t need to wait until that happens to decide that I need to do something about it. 

So if you are an overthinker like me, join me in the practice of casting our cares instead of trying to keep them on ourselves.  

Life Is A Roller Coaster

 

My PaPa once said that life is like going up a steep hill. You have clean out the briars along the way but if you keep on, you will get to the top. 

I have another take on what he meant by comparing life to riding a roller coaster.  There will be ups and downs, twists and turns along the way. Through it all we have to let God strap us in and then hang on.  

When I was younger I loved riding roller coasters.  The very first one I conquered was The Great American Scream Machine at Six Flags over Georgia.  It took a lot of time for me to work up the nerve to attempt it.  It seemed so high and so fast.  When I finally rode it I was terrified and the ride was so rough that I desperately held on to the safety bar in front of me. 

Life sometimes presents us with times where we are overcome with fear We have to tighten our grip and hold on.  Hanging on during tough times requires mental, emotional and spiritual strength. We have to keep our focus and remember that the tough times are temporary and only do what we can do. 

Psalm 63:8 (the Amplified Bible) states it very appropriately when it tells us “My soul (my life, my very self) clings to you; Your right hand upholds me.”   This was written by David while he was in the Judean desert while running away from his enemies.  It shows the importance in being anchored in God during the tough times. 

Someone once said of roller coasters that you have a choice to scream or enjoy the ride. We too have the choice of how to ride the roller coaster of life. We can complain about it or we can just ride it out. The ride is out of our control. We have to believe that it will work out the way it was meant to work out in the end.

 

Scary Faith

There are hard times that we all must face in life.

Difficult decisions. Heartbreaking moments. Losses that are painful.

I am sure we all could tell the stories. 

I was raised in a church home.  I believed in God at a very young age.  Although I have wavered and failed at times I have always returned to the God of my salvation. My experience has also evolved over the years.  

We all go through the storms of life.  The hard times come.  I don’t like the hard times.  I do all I can to avoid the times I am scared. 

I am in one of those scary times.  

Will God come through for me this time?

Even with past answered prayers, there is always another hard time where our faith is once again tested. 

I never expected this one.

It makes you wonder if anything is too hard for God.  That seems like a silly thing to think but when you are going through the hard times you think a lot of thoughts. 

I replay all the stories of God’s miracles and answered prayers during my lifetime.  I know that God CAN answer my prayer but the scary part is how will He answer it. He doesn’t always answer it the way we want.  That’s the scary part.

Sometimes God chooses not to heal or provide the miracle we are asking for. 

I immediately think of a scene in "The Chosen" when Little James approached Jesus about why he had not been healed.  James had seen the healings that Jesus had performed and now Jesus was asking Him to go out and minister to others.  How could he do it when he hadn’t been healed?

Although this is not an actual Biblical account, it explains a lot about why Jesus doesn’t always heal in the way we expect. 

James asks why he hasn’t been healed despite being give. The power to heal others. Jesus explains that his endurance despite his physical ailment serves a higher purpose, demonstrating that faith exists even through suffering. 

Watch the scene here:  https://youtu.be/KZDvcEkjthA?si=6nahtFW0pY9tOGCQ

This means that our faith has to be strong even if our prayers are not answered the way we want them be answered.  Do we only believe if God does what we want?  

That’s a difficult belief but we can’t always expect to have our way.  It takes more faith to believe if prayers are not answered than when they are.  Our faith is only strong if it is based on God and not what He does for us. 

I don't like that answer. None of us do. So what can we do?

We pray and believe until something happens. God is on our side even if it doesn't seem like it because the prayers aren't answered the way we have prayed them. We don't always see God's higher purpose for us.

What Happens Now?

I cut my teeth on the church pews
Listened to every Sunday School lesson
Thousands of sermons
Heard the stories
I still believe it
I just need to see it
Faith that responds
Things hoped for
Evidence not seen
If ever before
I need this
The answer I seek
The healer
Will it be today?
Will it happen?
Strength is not my strength
Overthinking is my curse
The woman with blood issue
Only need to touch his clothes
She believed
She was healed
I believe
Will He heal?
What happens now?
Time for a success story.

Is My Faith Enough?

Do I have enough faith?

How much is enough?
A mustard seed is supposed to be enough
I’m not casting a mountain into the sea
Just need what’s ahead of me
Is it enough?
Praying the words looking for the formula
What works with others doesn’t for me
It’s the moment when God shows up
Or He doesn’t
This is the time faith is tested
Will it pass or will I fail?
Living each day renewed
Clinging to the strength of each day
Where will this lead?
I need whatever faith is enough
Enough faith to overcome this.

Old Requests, New Faith

Prayer requests get old
People pray on to new ones
They want immediate miracles
Only good news
We face our need every day
This is what we pray
David had to encourage himself
I am there
Can’t depend on others
God has to do it
Where is He in this?
I wake up wondering
Another day where my faith needs renewed
I depend on it and seek it
One day at a time
One step at a time
Can’t live past that
Each day is a roller coaster
Filled with ups and downs
Only thing we can do is hold on tight
Push through each and ride it out
Healing can come today
I believe until something changes

I Got Nothing

I got nothing.
Inspiration is on empty.
Nothing is stirring me to write.
No words of wisdom to share.
This is real life.
Job knew how this feels.
I wonder if God hears me.
People will ask: “Where is your God now?”
A make-believe sky wizard of no proof?
Do I even know how to pray?
Tough times asks questions.
How can I be strong?
When I feel incompetent and weak.
Job didn’t understand.
Neither do I.
The answers are easy when it isn’t you.
Will my faith be strong enough?
No Bible verses or cute cliches
Time to strengthen my grip and hang on.

Reasons to Believe

The decision to be a Christian has a public relations crisis.

There are too many reasons for people to choose not to believe. Honestly it is not too appealing to be a Christian.

It really requires a commitment to be a believer in today’s world. People easily look for reasons not to believe.

Why not find reasons TO believe?

Don’t look at other people who claim to be believers.
Don’t decide based on church affiliation.
Don’t make a decision for political reasons.

There’s only one reason to believe. It’s plain and simple. It is all about one person.

Jesus

No other reason.

We are all free to make our own choice but don’t look at the negatives to rule Him out. Look for the reasons to believe.

Belief doesn’t require debate.

Simply believe.

Belief doesn’t mean you have to be weird and no snake handling required. Let Christ make you be the best version of you that He has created.

We all have a place in the world.

I know what it is like to deal with the doubters. Some want to discredit the Bible and say it isn’t the divine Word of God because it was written by men and how can it be accurate? The only way the Bible makes sense is through a relationship with our Creator. You won’t be able to understand it without that relationship. The Holy Spirit - not a degree in Theology - is the only way you can understand it.

In this day of fake news, Artificial Intelligence and social media, it’s hard to know what is true. They make us question and doubt anything we see or hear. We can’t let it shake us. These things don’t establish our faith.

You either believe or you don’t. I’m not going to convince you. My words here on this blog won’t make a difference to you. You have to make your own choice but are you basing it on the right thing?

Don’t take my word as a reason to believe, look for it yourself.

Thoughts About Medical Appointment Waiting Rooms

I have spent a lot of time in various waiting rooms for medical appointments and I have observed many issues that annoy me about these experiences.  I am convinced that nobody cares about the people around them.  

Here are some simple waiting room rules of etiquette that I would like to implement:

1. If you are sick (which most are) and hacking/coughing you should WEAR A MASK!  I don't care about any politics or whatever.  Wear a mask!  Don't spread your germs all over the dang waiting room.
2. Please don't discuss you ailments out loud with others or on your speaker phone.  We don't want to hear it.  We have our own issues we are dealing with and don't need to hear more.
3. While we are on the subject of using the phone, if you need to use your phone listen to music or watch videos put in some ear buds/headphones.  We don't all agree on music or your choices on videos.  
4. If there are enough seats in the waiting room, you don't have to plop down right next to someone.  Give some space.  None of us want to be there and this isn't a special club we're in.  At least allow one seat space.  

I know no one is going to do this but just wanted to vent.  Even if these rules were posted on the wall, people still wouldn't follow them and the staff wouldn't enforce them.  In fact, we often go to one waiting room where there is a sign posted that it is a "quiet zone" but it is ignored.  Even the television volume can be heard down the hallway.  

Waiting is never any fun and even less fun when you are sick.  It doesn't take much effort to think of others while you are waiting.