Blessed Are The Moody

Ask anyone that has known me and they might describe me as being a bit moody at times.  It isn’t something that I am proud of and I have struggled to improve in that area.  Unfortunately, as much as I try, I still surrender to my moods.  I remember reading the comments from someone at church who was interviewed about me and she made the observation that I could be “quite moody” at times.  Yeah, you can imagine what kind of mood that put me in.  The thing about this “observation” was that this person didn’t really know me and - if I’m being honest - I didn’t like being around this person.    

Those who truly know me, understand my moods and they know how to handle me when I am not the best version of myself.  I hate to admit that I can be quite sensitive at times.  Someone’s words or actions can prick me and cause my change in mood.  My wife knows me pretty well and she can sense when my mood is different.  There are times she will just ask me “what are you mad about?”   She knows.  Sometimes I’m actually not mad but she can sense the mood change in me.  

It is a constant battle I fight.  It’s hard for me to keep an even keel in my mood and attitude.  There are people I have met who I wish I could be like.  They keep an even mood all the time.  This is a challenge for me. I have said it many times that it isn’t always easy to be me. 

Fortunately I have noticed that as I grow older I have become more mellow than when I was younger.  I’m far from being perfect but it’s better than the impatience of my youth.

So what are some things that make us moody? 

• Illness - Being physically sick or in pain is probably the main thing that can set our mood.  When I’m suffering with a painful headache I don’t want to talk.  There is no hiding it.  Pain is inevitable and affects us.
• Others - What someone says or does something negative to us, it can shut us down and change our attitude quickly.  It definitely does that to me.  If someone is negative to me I will shut down and put up my emotional walls.  
• Environment - If we are too hot or too cold or uncomfortable, it can affect our mood.
• Hungry - Even heard of being “hangry”?   Yep, that definitely can affect our attitude.

The good news is that in spite of our moods, God stills loves us regardless.  I’m not saying He condones it but He certainly understands even if we don’t understand ourselves.  In times of moodiness, it’s important remember that our emotions can be influenced by many things but we can find peace in God.  Psalm 34:17-18 reminds us that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  Don’t leave God out when you are moody.  The temptation is remain silent and not pray but that is a mistake.  We have to trust in God’s love and seek His presence in our lives whether we feel like talking to Him or not.  

My Experience with Prayer

Prayer is a very personal thing.

I have always believed in prayer, but I can’t say that I have been good at it.

Have my prayers always been answered? Actually yes. Have they always been answered the way I asked? No.

My experience with prayer has matured over the years. For most of my life I didn’t really understand prayer until I realized it was communication with God and not just a list of requests. Do I still do a lot of asking? Yes, but I have also worked more at improving my listening.

It’s not easy to listen either. Especially when God doesn’t speak in an audible voice. It requires extreme focus to listen. I’m still not always good at it and I often get it wrong. It is still very difficult to tune out my own voice as being his voice.

I talk to God like I would talk to you. I don’t use fancy religious words or cliches. I also don’t scream and yell at God like in the church I was raised in. Back then it seemed that people who prayed the loudest got God’s attention. I have since learned differently.

I don’t go around laying hands or telling people I will pray for them. If you ask me to pray I will but I am not going to act as if I am some God-given superstar. There are enough of those in the world right now.

Do I get frustrated with praying? Absolutely and probably more than you would think. I don’t always understand God’s timing or why He allows things to go on. I mean, I pray and believe like He told us too, but I also get frustrated when it seems that nothing changes. I wish God would tell us why, but He has his reasons and He's not obligated to my need to know why.

Praying is hard. There is no secret about it. The only way to get good at praying is to pray. I have read many books and listened to sermons about “how to pray” but there is no magic formula.

When do I pray?

I take of advantage of any opportunity that I feel I am able to pray. I pray when I am walking or running errands by myself or when I lie awake early in the morning, or I pray as I go to sleep. I keep the conversation going. There is no one way I can tell you. I just know how it works for me.

Yes, my prayers are always answered but it is either “yes”, “no” or “wait”. I will be honest and tell you that most of the time my prayers aren’t answered immediately and most of the time it isn’t yes.

I told you that my prayers have matured so it isn’t always prayers where I am asking for things. I find myself just generally carrying on a conversation with God. I know how ridiculous that may sound to many of you. That’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand. We all make it the best way we can. I know that there are many crazies out there who tell everything that God supposedly tells them. They use that claim to manipulate people by making them think they are some spiritual celebrity.

I am not a spiritual giant. I don’t claim to be the only person who talks and listens to God. I am doing my best. I get it wrong sometimes, but I don’t give up.

I just want to encourage you to pray and don’t get discouraged with it. You need to do prayer your way. You don’t have to do it like me or like someone else. The important thing is to just pray.

If there is one thing that continue to have to learn about prayer it is to pray, trust God then leave the results to Him. That “leaving the results to Him” part is the one that is the hardest to do. If you are like me, you try to work it out for God. I’m still trying to let go and keep doing the praying and trusting.

Pray, then let it go
Don't try to manipulate or force the outcome,
Just trust God to open the right doors at the right time.

Runner

Every summer I find myself reminiscing about attending church camp in my younger days. Without a doubt my favorite song we learned in one of the camps was “Runner” by Twila Paris. That song is still on my playlist. It continues to inspire me today.

The chorus says:
Runner when the road is long
Feel like giving in, but you're hanging on
Oh runner, when the race is won
You will run into His arms

I am a believer and I will be honest and admit that there have been many times I felt like giving up. It isn’t always easy. It’s definitely not been the most popular choice. I have done a lot of “hanging on” during my own journey. My grandpa once said that living for Christ is like climbing a steep hill. The way is full of briars that you have to get through but if you don’t give up eventually you will make it to the top.

I am determined to make it to the top. I have been at this too long to turn back now.

The Christian life has been compared to a race. It isn’t a race against other people but it is a race that we finish. Everyone runs their own race. You don’t know me and you can’t possibly know all that I have been through to get here. My goal is to finish. It might not be smooth or pretty. In the end, I want to run into His arms. That is the MOST important thing about the race.

I grew up in the church and I have bounced around spiritually to stay on course. It has taken me in directions that I never imagined I would go. I can tell you that there will be people - even other believers - who will judge you and have their opinion about your race. The thing to remember is that no one can run the race for you. You and I have to do it ourselves and sometimes even in the face of opposition from other believers.

What is amazing about this race is that we have a cheering section. Hebrews 12:1 tells us “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us”.

I’m far from perfect. I get frustrated and I have the same emotions that you do. This isn’t an easy race. Sometimes I fall but I continue to get back up and press on. It is my passion to finish my race.