When You Feel Less Than Perfect

I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I have been my whole life. That isn't going to change and I am not ashamed of that.

Before you scroll past, let me assure you that even though I am a Christian, I am not one of THOSE Christians. I am not a believer who follows a politician or preacher. There is no one else but Christ. No other "chosen one" but Him.

Let me tell you that even though I am a believer, I do screw up sometimes. Sometimes they are huge. I don't have it figured out and many times I have to come back and repair the damage I have made. Being a Christian doesn't make me not human. I'm every bit human. I mess up but I don't give up. Many days I wake up and wipe the slate clean and begin with a new mind and focus.

I am not alone. The Bible is filled with less-than-perfect people.

Noah got drunk
Jonah ran away
Moses stuttered
Abraham was old
Lazarus was dead
Peter had a temper
David had an affair
Zaccheus was short
Martha had anxiety
Paul was a murderer
Jacob was a cheater
Gideon was insecure
Sarah was impatient
Elijah was depressed
Miriam was a gossiper
Thomas was a doubter
Rahab was a prostitute

We all have limitations and conflicts.  Even the Bible "heroes" had their issues but God still used them.  Becoming a believer in Christ doesn't make you above everyone and it certainly doesn't mean you have to be crazy.  

To be honest with you, I have some days when I just think I'm a failure.  How can God use me?  What good am I to Him?  There's nothing special about me.  I'm not a preacher, missionary or anything dynamic.  I'm just me.  Sometimes being me isn't easy.  I look at my life many times and see why God didn't give me any kind of ministry or calling.  I floundered so much with that early in my life.  I'm not sure I have found it but I just live one day at a time.  Some days are good and some days aren't so good.  

One thing I do is that I press forward.  It may not always be easy but it will be worth it in the end.  I refuse to give up.  I always think of that old hymn:

"I am determined to hold out to the end,

Jesus is with me, on Him I can depend.

And I know I have salvation, for I feel it in my soul,

I am determined to hold to the end."

God doesn't use perfect people, He uses people who don't give up and those who rise above their imperfections.  

Christmas Traditions, Lights and Plays

I love decorating for Christmas and putting up the Christmas lights.  I'm usually in charge of the outside decorations.  Even with the cold numbing my fingers, I still like being outside and stringing up the lights and any other ideas that pop into my head.  

No, I'm not competing with the neighbors and I certainly can't do as much as I used to but I do what I can. I just like doing it for me and my wife.  I do it for us.  

In my younger days I would scale the roof and put lights on top of the house and anything else I could put up there.  I really love the lights whether they are white or multi-color.  I'm never one to do the same thing every year and usually there is an idea in my head.  Unfortunately, my budget isn't enough to fund my ideas.  I still do what I can.

I almost gave it up one Christmas when someone stole a large portion of our decorations.  That gave me quite a punch in the gut.  I couldn't believe someone would do that.

Another one of my favorite things is to drive around looking at lights in different neighborhoods and any special light displays.  We usually go through Starbucks and get some hot chocolate, put on the Christmas music and find the best decorated neighborhoods.  

Growing up as a preacher's kid, I had many appearances in the annual Christmas play.  I was never any of the main characters, mostly a shepherd or wise man.  Some years the plays were very well done while others - well - the play still happened.  In the early years, we would all get a small bag of fruit after the play.  Once I even wrote and directed a play.  In later years, I did the music, sound and any special effects for the children's play.  Throughout my years in the church I was always involved with the play in some way.  

Family gatherings have been a mixed bag.  Never the same every year.  I kinda like it that way.  I know of many families that HAVE to do the same thing EVERY year.  That becomes a routine which takes the joy out of Christmas for me.  There were years I would be with my aunts, uncles and cousins but other years it was just me with my parents.  

Of course I have memories of Christmas presents I got as a child.  I remember getting my first G.I. Joe action figure, handheld electronic football game and my first computer game.  

So there have been some traditions I have enjoyed each Christmas.  They are memories that I always reflect on and couldn't possibly write about them in detail here.  I hope you all enjoy whatever traditions you and have create your own memories.  I think sometimes we focus too much on DOING Christmas and not ENJOYING Christmas. We get too busy trying to create moments instead of letting them happen.  

Forgetting the Regrets

We all have regrets.

A word spoken in anger.
An ill-advised decision.
Good deeds left undone.

There are probably some right now which immediately come to your mind. I have a few of my own. I would like to go back in time and erase them if I could . They may be in the past but they aren’t forgotten are they?

Regrets are a powerful force in your life. They can keep you from being the person you were meant to be. They can be emotionally paralyzing.  Regrets can haunt you. Especially when you are experiencing success or happiness in your life. These ghosts of regrets return to remind you of your failures and shortcomings.

And if you don’t think of them, there is always someone who will.  Know some of those people?  

Since we all have regrets, how can we manage them so they won’t hold us back?

The first -- and most important thing -- is that we have to like ourselves. A poor self esteem will keep us chained to our regrets. When you realize that you have regrets you have to also realize that those regrets don’t define who you are. Regrets are your life’s learning experiences. We have to focus on the positive parts of who we are.

Another important part of living with regrets is to stay away from people who repeatedly remind you of them. If they can’t give you the benefit of the doubt then they don’t need to be in your life.

The only way you can truly live with the regrets in your life is to forgive yourself. If God forgives, then why do we think we are better than God that we can’t forgive ourselves?  I am reminded of the Apostle Paul who wrote that there is no longer any condemnation for those who believe in Christ. (Romans 8:1)   That's a pretty strong assurance to us about any regrets we have.  Paul also encouraged us to let go of things that are behind us and press forward to what is ahead (Philippians 3:13-14) Whether you are a believer or not, this is some good advice for us all when living with the regrets that we have.

Unfortunately we can't wipe our memories of our regrets.  They happened.  That's the reality but we can learn to live with them while not letting them get in the way of our lives.  Acknowledging and accepting what you are feeling is essential. When you accept yourself and what you are feeling, you are able to recognize that your value isn't defined by your mistakes or failures. Accepting yourself and your feelings does not mean you don't want to change things or do better. It just means that you are able to recognize that you are always learning, changing, and growing.