Lost in a Crowd

Since moving to New York, it is no surprise to discover that there are a LOT of people here.  It is easy to get lost in the crowds.  There are different people, different languages and people going into every direction here.

The world's current population is over 8 billion people.  That's a lot of people out in the world.

As we were out this weekend, I wondered how it is possible that God can know me personally out of billions of people?  I don't understand it.  How does God keep track of everyone?  How is it possible that He even cares about what I do?  Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not important nor do I stand out in the crowd to even be noticed.  

But, God DOES know us individually.  Did you know that God knows us in some much detail that He actually knows each number of our hair?  (Luke 12:7) 

How is this even possible?  How can we even begin to explain God?  If we could, then WE would be God. 

God's ability to know us personally can only be explained that God is not human.  He created humans in His image but He is all-powerful, all-knowing and present everywhere at the same time.  Since He created us, He knows how we work and how we think.  There is no way that we can be able to comprehend how He does it.  

It's nice to know that God knows us.  We are not lost in a crowd.  He knows everyone in the crowd and even our very thoughts (which is a bit scary right?).  

The following passage in Psalm 139:1-16 gives us a good description of how well God knows us:

God, investigate my life;
get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

I feel a lot better now in knowing that God actually does know me and cares about me even in a world of billions.

Man With The Plan

I can’t help myself.

I am the person that NEEDS a plan. I am ALWAYS planning ahead.

If someone mentions going somewhere, I’m already thinking about the route to take, what time we need to leave and parking situation at the destination.

It’s a curse.

At times it overwhelms me.

I am the one with the folder and the spreadsheet. My family even pokes fun at me and my folder.

Yes, I’m that person.

Even back in high school, I remember going to an amusement park and I was the one who had the watch and the park map. My classmates wanted me around because they knew I would be the one who would know when and where we needed to be.

They were having fun and I was thinking ahead to where we needed to be next.

I often wonder what it would be like to have a day when I leave the planning to someone else so I could enjoy myself. It’s a nice thought if I could let go. Somehow I end up taking it over.

I don’t know why I am like this. Maybe it was my strict upbringing, eight years in the military or 30 years in the legal system. I am comfortable with structure. I rarely know how to function without a plan.

There is nothing wrong with being a planner but I probably take it to the extreme. I can’t help it. That’s who I am.

Yet another joy of being me.

It’s tiring constantly being the one in charge, the one everyone relies on, the one who always has to have everything under control. It’s the pressure to make sure everyone is happy, to ensure that every detail is perfect, and to avoid any potential disasters. We often feel like we have to be “on” all the time. We can’t afford to relax, to let go, or to admit that we’re feeling overwhelmed.

We’re afraid that if we don’t take charge, things will fall apart.

I wish I could give my mind a break.

Even now I am thinking about what I am going to have for breakfast in the morning.

When You Feel Overwhelmed

Have you ever felt overwhelmed with life?

Sometimes the burden gets too heavy.

There is a passage in Psalms which tells us that when our heart is overwhelmed that we can go to the rock that is higher than us. (Psalm 61:2)  This Psalm is a prayer for Gods protection and guidance during times of distress. It expresses the need for stability and safety when we are feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges. The “rock” is God who is our source of strength, stability and refuge.

Although we KNOW that God is our rock and we can go to Him I have buckled under the weight of life because I have failed to go to God during these times. I have tried to carry it myself.

You would think that after all of these years and my life serving God that I would be good at this. I often fail miserably at this.

Why can’t I learn this lesson?

Instead it would seem that I would prefer to stress out than give my burdens over to God.  I have been told to stop stressing a lot recently but I still do. It seems that I can’t let it go.

Why?

Do I really trust God? I say that I do but I certainly don't act as if I trust Him enough to actually do it.

This a painful confession for me to make but it is the truth. 

I am not running this race with patience. I am trying to do it all in my own strength and where has that gotten me? I am totally worn out. I have no energy and I feel beat up on the inside.

Starting writing this blog, I am going to regroup.

So how do we give our burdens to God? It is not something tangible and we can’t physically see God. That makes it quite difficult.

1 Peter 5:7 tells us to "cast" our cares on Jesus. So how do we actually do that? If we do a word study on the word "cast" from the original Greek in this text, it means to "throw upon" or "give away".

Okay, that is a nice thought but HOW do we give away? Well, obviously this isn't something physical we can do so it has to be something mental.

It begins with when we wake up. Starring the day right with the right mindset.

First, it begins with prayer. It's not a laundry list of what we want. We begin with expressing our feelings even if we don't have the words to express them. We shouldn't be afraid to cry. Tears speak words that our heart cannot express in English. Tears are a form of release. Ask for God's help. He knows us. We can be transparent with Him like we can with no one else in our lives.

One thing that helps me is to listen to a song and immerse myself in the lyrics which speak to me. Today I listened to the song "Goodness of God" by CeCe Winans which was absolutely perfect for what I needed.

Next, spend some time in silence. Sit quietly in God's presence. It doesn't have to be for hours. Just carving out a few minutes to do it instead of checking social media in the morning has a way of resetting your mind for the day ahead. I'm not saying it is magic but it certainly doesn't hurt.

Finally, as we go about our day and the difficulties come, remind God that you have given it over to Him and that you are trusting Him.

Will things magically change? Although, the things may not change, in time how they affect us will change. Expectations are important and we must push through them to let the "casting" work.