What Will People Think?

Do you worry about what others think of you?

I think we all do to a certain extent and depending on who is around us.

The concern about what others think of us can go to the extreme of worrying too much or not caring at all. There needs to be a healthy balance.

I speak from life experience.

For the first 18 years of my life, I grew up as a preacher’s kid. There were always people judging me in some way or having their conclusions about me when many times they didn’t even know me.

I was obsessed over what people thought of me and it carried over into much of my early adult life.

There was a time in my life I endured a difficult person who always had her opinions and assumptions about me. It didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, she always had a critical opinion about me. I could never measure up until one day I had a revelation. I realized that it didn’t matter what her opinion of me was. Her opinion didn’t mean she was right.

From that day forward I was a different person.

I became a person who was less worried about what people thought. I didn’t (and never) go to the extreme of never worrying about hurting people’s feelings but I also had to realize that my feelings were important too.

I have made many decisions over the past several years for my own happiness. I’m sure others have been hurt or even disappointed in me but that is on them. I can’t be responsible for other’s expectations of me. I lived that life too many years and wasted opportunities to be happy earlier in my life. Whatever people think of me is between them and whatever God they serve.

When people want to hear yes, and you tell them no, they never like it. But those who are truly your friends will give you the freedom to make your own decisions. People who genuinely care about you and not what you can do for them will be happy for you.

Unfortunately, I have had family members in my life who were quick to judge and turn on me. One mistake would wipe out many times of good. They would be quick to cut me off without giving me the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I have had to endure the bad feelings to preserve boundaries in my life. You will realize that in life hurting people will hurt others. We have to expect that and set our boundaries to manage those people who are in our lives.

Am I bitter? No. Just learned a valuable and painful lesson from it. People still have their assumptions about me. That’s fine. I can’t do anything about that. I can only take one step at a time. Life is like that. You do the best you can.

The reality is that we can’t possibly please everyone. I have tried and I can tell you that you will live a frustrated life if you try.

We all have our own journey, and we should not live our lives based on our expectations of others.

Where is God when we are in pain?

There is one thing in life that can humble us all.

Pain. 

I have recently started having pain in my knee.  Usually it only bothers me when I am going down certain stairs.  A few days ago my wife and I were watching a show and shortly into it I started feeling intense pain in that same knee.  I could not stand up or straighten my leg. I even wondered at one point how much pain I could take.  It was bad.  

I don’t like being me on days when I am in pain.  It’s not the Milton you want me to be. 

Pain is our great equalizer. It’s part of being human. 

I can’t imagine those who have to endure chronic pain every day.  It definitely puts someone in a negative mindset as they are constantly striving for the fleeting moments without pain.  

I could give you a lot of God-things about dealing with pain but I will admit that I don’t handle pain very well.  I get moody and withdrawn. I just want the pain to end.  I will take aspirin or whatever I can get that will take away the pain.  

Yes, I trust God and I absolutely believe He can heal but do you want to know a secret that I hate to admit?  Too many times when I am in pain, I don’t even think to pray about my pain or ask God to heal me.  I don’t know why.  

I will change that by asking Him a lot more.  If not, I will just ask Him to help me to endure the pain.  

I don’t like pain.  It hurts and it makes me feel weak.  

I know God cares about our pain but it sure is difficult when we are hurting.  

We all face pain in some way.  It isn’t something we can avoid.  I know there are some preachers who will allege that the reason we are not healed from pain is due to a lack of faith but that simply isn’t Biblical.  We can still have faith but understand that His strength will help us in our pain.  Somehow we have to find our way through it and manage it.  

Lost in a Crowd

Since moving to New York, it is no surprise to discover that there are a LOT of people here.  It is easy to get lost in the crowds.  There are different people, different languages and people going into every direction here.

The world's current population is over 8 billion people.  That's a lot of people out in the world.

As we were out this weekend, I wondered how it is possible that God can know me personally out of billions of people?  I don't understand it.  How does God keep track of everyone?  How is it possible that He even cares about what I do?  Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not important nor do I stand out in the crowd to even be noticed.  

But, God DOES know us individually.  Did you know that God knows us in some much detail that He actually knows each number of our hair?  (Luke 12:7) 

How is this even possible?  How can we even begin to explain God?  If we could, then WE would be God. 

God's ability to know us personally can only be explained that God is not human.  He created humans in His image but He is all-powerful, all-knowing and present everywhere at the same time.  Since He created us, He knows how we work and how we think.  There is no way that we can be able to comprehend how He does it.  

It's nice to know that God knows us.  We are not lost in a crowd.  He knows everyone in the crowd and even our very thoughts (which is a bit scary right?).  

The following passage in Psalm 139:1-16 gives us a good description of how well God knows us:

God, investigate my life;
get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in!
Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.

I feel a lot better now in knowing that God actually does know me and cares about me even in a world of billions.