Working to Live

I’m tired of working.

I just finished a brutal week of work. One day I put in 15 hours. I’m not asking for sympathy just stating my facts.

I have worked a job since I graduated from high school and went into the United States Air Force. I served eight years in active duty then worked with the Department of Justice for 30 years.

I retired from government a few years ago. So no more working? Retirement? That’s funny. No way I could live off of the retirement. It is just enough to pay most of our rent each month.

So I am still working.

True retirement is just a fantasy. I can’t imagine being able to afford to do it. Ever. At this point I totally expect to work until my very last day.

Maybe I can win the lottery.

I work harder now than I ever did before and it sucks the energy out of me. Every day I go down the work rabbit hole. I rarely come up for air and by the end of the day, I am completely mentally and physically wiped out.

There was once a time I could take some healthy breaks and even step away from my desk and take a short walk around my block but after some downsizing, I have absolutely no time during the day to take care of my wellness health.

I am not the all star employee or even the smartest one but I strive to be dependable and dedicated to the work. There was a time early in my career that I was a star and at the top but now I am content with being a good employee. I have been at the top of my career. I don’t need that now.

So I continue to work with no expectation of ever having a true retirement.

How have I function (and continue to function) like this? I still enjoy the accomplishments in a job well done, being shown appreciation and compensated for it. I also enjoy when I have time off and do my best to have a work-life balance although some times it gets a bit out of balance toward the work side.

Too many people work for retirement instead of living in the present. I once had a co-worker who always talked about his retirement and what he was going to do and how happy he was going to be to get out of the workplace. A few weeks after he retired he had a massive heart attack and died as he was getting ready to attend our office Christmas party.

Although I will probably always work, I want to live life and not defer it to some retirement fantasy.

Many of us go through our careers yearning for the day that we can finally retire. “I can’t wait to retire so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want,” or “I can’t wait for retirement so I can just relax and do the things that I enjoy” are common things that we say.

My life may be work but my life can be more than just work and more than living a retirement goal. I have to remind myself that even if I get tired of work, I am blessed to have a job and able to afford my life. I don’t want to struggle to live. I want my family to enjoy the benefits of me working.

So when work beats me up and I get a little discouraged about it, I just need to take time to recharge and regroup.

I’m still going to play the lottery.

Reset Your Mind

There are days when I don’t have it together or I feel that things are a bit out of control. 

I know that I am not alone.

Some days simply wear down your emotions to where you are more sensitive. At the moment I know that I am not functioning as the best version of myself. I recognize that I need to reset.

So what now? How do we reset?

First, you need to simply allow time to wind down. Rest. Quiet the mind. I have found that the best way is to put my mind on something else.

Vent if you can. Find someone you can confide in without being judged. Many times I just want to let it out without someone trying to fix it. There is a time for advice and a time to be heard.

Write in a journal. If you don’t feel comfortable confiding in someone then write it in a journal. Also do NOT post on social media. People do not need to know everything!

We all need time to reset ourselves when we have days that beat us up. We are not robots. We have feelings and emotions.

Everyone is different. You need to find the best method which works best for you. Just make sure that you have one. Don’t let your depleted emotions defeat you.

“Reload your mind; reset with the right mindset.” Delphanie Frank

Heroes of the Faith

We all need a little help along the way. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I have needed help from others on my journey. None of us can do it alone. For me there have been people who have come in and out of my life to encourage or inspire me in some way to keep running this race.

Romans 1:11-12 says, "I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith."

They are my personal heroes of the faith. When I think about it, these are the people who immediately come to mind:

M.O. Sweat
My grandfather was the first one I recall looking up to and had a deep respect for. He was an old-time preacher man but he genuinely cared for his family and for people. Unfortunately, he passed away several years ago but his impact is still on my life today. I still have a video clip of when he once talked about how proud he was of me for sticking with God. That has encouraged me many times.

Bruce Scotton
My father was a preacher and would often schedule for evangelists to come to our church.  Bruce was an African-American evangelist who came to our church in Villa Rica, Georgia for a revival. This was the first time I recall receiving salvation. When we had other evangelists in our home, I was always invisible but Bruce included me. I remember fondly playing a handheld electronic football game with him.  He wasn't just a preacher but he was a real person to me. 

Eddie Smith
In one of the first churches my dad was appointed as pastor where we actually had young people close to my age, Eddie was the main one of the group and was a leader. I looked up to Eddie and he always someone you could talk to. 

Bubba Cardin
I first met Bubba when he was my counselor in church summer camp. He had an amazing way of teaching and making the Bible come alive. The first impression he made was his version of the song “He’s Alive” which he played on his banjo.  

Gary Lewis
One of my fellow preachers kids I first met in summer camp and other church events. We always had fun and always had a good laugh - many times at ourselves. He has become an inspiring minister.

Jay Thornton
Another fellow preachers kid I grew up with. At church camp we loved playing basketball and we also shared our love for our high school football teams. Jay is currently a pastor and just an overall great guy to know.

Gerald Green
Became my pastor. He was always a friend and came along to encourage me when I was going through some difficult times with my family. He even went to high school football games with me.

Lanis Lewis
Also a preachers kid (Gary’s brother) who I also met in church camp. He always fun to be around and one of the best preachers I have known. His sermons have always inspired and challenged me to be a better person.

Although I don’t interact with these regularly, I have been in contact with some throughout the years thanks to social media. The amazing thing is that when I do, it’s almost like we have never been apart. I also know that if I ever needed them they would support me in anyway they could. Their prayers and encouragement have helped me more than they will ever know. They are truly my heroes of the faith. I have been a better man because I have known them.