When Your Prayer Goes Bad

What do you do if you pray and things get worse?

I will be honest with you that this really messes with my head. I mean, how can this be? When you are praying sincerely for a need in your life and it gets worse instead of better, what are you supposed to think about that?

Why even pray then?

It’s probably one of the hardest things to deal with. I have prayed for people to be healed and they died.

Okay you are probably hoping that your name is not on my prayer list right now. Well I’m not saying this always happens but when it does, it throws me a bit.

Ultimately we have to realize that God isn’t our personal genie. He doesn’t grant our wishes just because we ask.

In the Book of Exodus, we are reminded of the Israelites’ after Moses and Aaron had appealed to Pharaoh to let the people go. God had heard the cries of the Israelites, and sent Moses to plead on their behalf. However, instead of helping the situation, it hurt! Pharaoh severely cut the supplies needed for their work. The situation seemed to become worse and even Moses became discouraged.

The Israelites already were tasked with making bricks with straw but now had to maintain the quota without straw.

Thanks Moses!

The story could have ended there, but Moses took his confusion and complaints to the Lord. Even more significant, he continued to obey God in spite of negative circumstances. Moses was full of doubt about his own abilities, and he was discouraged about the Israelites anger towards him, but he still continued to follow God’s path. We all know the outcome. God used his obedience to bring about a miraculous deliverance—just when things seemed impossible. In the end, terrible oppression made liberation seem even more incredible.

Even when the answer to our prayers go in the opposite direction - or worse - we can’t give up. God’s timing is crucial and He doesn’t rarely shares with us what He’s doing. Trusting is hard but a necessary part of prayer.

The old Hymn says “trust and obey”. When the answer doesn’t come we need to lean into the trust.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Experience

Today my wife and I attended the 99th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. We both grew up watching the parade on TV every year. I never thought we would actually get to see it in person.  We decided to see it live today.

It was an awesome experience.

Our day got off to an early start.  We got up at 6 am and took our subway to the 57th-7th station. It took us about 20 minutes to get there.  We walked about a couple of blocks then started looking for a good place to watch the parade.

No, we didn’t have a place in front of Macy’s. Only Macy’s employees and VIPs get to sit in those bleacher seats that you see on TV. We watched the parade from close to the start near Central Park.

Yes, there were crowds. We both got bumped around and constantly fighting for position. We were also near a rather lively group which keep everyone entertained while we were waiting for the parade to start.

You could feel the excitement when the start of the parade got to us. The floats, marching bands and balloons marched by us. The balloons were amazing to see in person. The entertainers didn’t stop to perform for us like you see on TV.

My favorite balloons were Bluey and Minnie Mouse.  I also liked the Sesame Street float.     

The hardest part was standing for over four hours. My feet and legs are sore now and may need a couple of days to recover.

I am glad we did this and had this experience. Would I do it again? Yes, most definitely. It was worth seeing in person.

Working to Live

I’m tired of working.

I just finished a brutal week of work. One day I put in 15 hours. I’m not asking for sympathy just stating my facts.

I have worked a job since I graduated from high school and went into the United States Air Force. I served eight years in active duty then worked with the Department of Justice for 30 years.

I retired from government a few years ago. So no more working? Retirement? That’s funny. No way I could live off of the retirement. It is just enough to pay most of our rent each month.

So I am still working.

True retirement is just a fantasy. I can’t imagine being able to afford to do it. Ever. At this point I totally expect to work until my very last day.

Maybe I can win the lottery.

I work harder now than I ever did before and it sucks the energy out of me. Every day I go down the work rabbit hole. I rarely come up for air and by the end of the day, I am completely mentally and physically wiped out.

There was once a time I could take some healthy breaks and even step away from my desk and take a short walk around my block but after some downsizing, I have absolutely no time during the day to take care of my wellness health.

I am not the all star employee or even the smartest one but I strive to be dependable and dedicated to the work. There was a time early in my career that I was a star and at the top but now I am content with being a good employee. I have been at the top of my career. I don’t need that now.

So I continue to work with no expectation of ever having a true retirement.

How have I function (and continue to function) like this? I still enjoy the accomplishments in a job well done, being shown appreciation and compensated for it. I also enjoy when I have time off and do my best to have a work-life balance although some times it gets a bit out of balance toward the work side.

Too many people work for retirement instead of living in the present. I once had a co-worker who always talked about his retirement and what he was going to do and how happy he was going to be to get out of the workplace. A few weeks after he retired he had a massive heart attack and died as he was getting ready to attend our office Christmas party.

Although I will probably always work, I want to live life and not defer it to some retirement fantasy.

Many of us go through our careers yearning for the day that we can finally retire. “I can’t wait to retire so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want,” or “I can’t wait for retirement so I can just relax and do the things that I enjoy” are common things that we say.

My life may be work but my life can be more than just work and more than living a retirement goal. I have to remind myself that even if I get tired of work, I am blessed to have a job and able to afford my life. I don’t want to struggle to live. I want my family to enjoy the benefits of me working.

So when work beats me up and I get a little discouraged about it, I just need to take time to recharge and regroup.

I’m still going to play the lottery.